Profile picture
, 12 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
MAY: So how do I get MV3 past Bercow?
LIDINGTON: We're trying again?
MAY: This is my Return of the Jedi moment
HAMMOND: It does feel like we're being repeatedly mauled by Ewoks
LEADSOM: Why are you here?
HAMMOND: Fuck knows. I've no idea anymore. It's like the living dead in here
LIDINGTON: What if we change the font size? Would that count as a significant difference?
LEADSOM: We already used that for MV2
MAY: We could attach it to a Regret Motion?
HAMMOND: Well we've certainly got plenty of those
MAY: Can you at least PRETEND to be helpful?
MAY: Okay what about separating the deal from the political declaration?
LIDINGTON: Can we do that?
LEADSOM: I don't know
HAMMOND: Are you mad?! The DUP will roast you
MAY: but will it work? Where's Michael? Devious shit is his MO
HAMMOND: At the ERG. It's Thatcher Fanfic Friday
<at the ERG>

BAKER: Thatcher locked eyes with him across the table. 'Oh, that's how you like it?' She said. 'Well maybe I should be MaaSTRICT with you'
GOVE <phone>: bE quiCk. ThIS iS geTTInG gOOd
HAMMOND: PM needs you here
GOVE: Is GrAYLinG thERe?
HAMMOND: Gove won't come while Chris is here
MAY: Why?
HAMMOND: He's been weird ever since Chris got that comfort duck
LEADSOM: Why IS Chris here?
MAY: It's a secret
GRAYLING: I'm the next Prime Minister!
LEADSOM: CHRIS is your successor?!
MAY: Yes
LIDINGTON: That's CRAZY! No offence
GRAYLING: None taken
LEADSOM: The DUCK would be better. No offence
GRAYLING: None taken
HAMMOND: It's putting Pooh in charge of a honey factory! No offence
GRAYLING: I'm getting a little offended now
LIDINGTON: Chris CAN'T succeed you
MAY: He will continue my legacy
HAMMOND: Well he IS good at fucking things up
GRAYLING: Definitely offended now
LIDINGTON: Theresa! No!
MAY: Well will YOU?
MAY: Then it's Chris
HAMMOND: This must be how Albert Speer felt
MAY: Look. We separate the Arrangement out and I quit. Boris and Jacob have agreed they'll back it.
HAMMOND: Boris SAID that did he?
MAY: Yes. Last night
HAMMOND: Might want to check today's paper
MAY: That slippery FUCK
LEADSOM: To be fair, 7hrs of loyalty is a new personal best
MAY: Okay fine. We've still got Jacob. He'll...
HAMMOND: Hang on, Gove is calling... Hello?
GOVE <phone whiper>: sTiLL wiTH thE PM?
GOVE: KeEP qUIeT. I'm PuTTIng yOU oN sPeaKER

<the ERG>

BAKER: We will NOT be cowed! Liberty! Egality! Grand Wizardry!
ERG: Huzzah!
BAKER: Was BRITAIN cowed by the Normans?
ERG: No!
BAKER: Did BRITAIN stand ALONE at Waterloo?
GOVE: wELL the gERMaNs, dUTch and BeLGIAns
ERG: Yes!
BAKER: Did BRITAIN WIN at Dunkirk?!
ERG: Yes!
BAKER: We will FIGHT on the Beaches of Brexit!
HAMMOND: Well that's the ERG out.
MAY: Shit.
LEADSOM: Pull the vote?
MAY: No. It can still get through.
MAY: We just need enough Labour rebels.
HAMMOND: So we're relying on Corbyn being shit at whipping?
MAY: Yup
HAMMOND: That's... not the worst plan
MAY: Indeed
SPECIAL OFFER! To celebrate (non)Brexit day, get 15% off a new pledge to the Brexit Tapes book today. Just use the Checkout code DEADLOCK:…

If you're new to the Tapes, you can start here:

Most recent here:
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to John Bull
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!