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<In the Cabinet>

HAMMOND: Those opposed to your deal have broken our unity in House. On our own benches, our opponents have taken Grieve and are pushing Letwin.
There's resistance on the opposition benches between SNP and Labour and elsewhere remainism is entrenched in TIG too.
MAY: Everything will be fine after Meaningful Vote 3.
HAMMOND: My Prime Minister... Bercow...
LIDINGTON: Bercow has blocked another vote. Without significant changes. it will not occur.
MAY: These people will stay: Gove, Hammond, Lidington and Rudd.

<The Cabinet leaves the room>
MAY: That was an order! Meaningful Vote 3 was an order! Who the HELL do you all think you are, that you dare to resist my orders?
MAY: Is this what it has come to?! Parliament has lied to me! Everyone has lied to me, even my own MPs!
MAY: All of you, including my Cabinet ministers, are nothing but a bunch of wicked, faithless cowards!
LIDINGTON: My Prime Minister! I cannot allow you to insult your ministers and the MPs who have bled votes for you...
MAY: You are COWARDS, TRAITORS AND FAILURES!!!
LIDINGTON: My Prime Minister, what you're saying is monstrous!
MAY: MPs are the SCUM of the British people right now! You have no honour! And you call yourselves 'Cabinet ministers' but that's only because you have spent YEARS in Parliament learning how to hold pointless debates.
MAY: I never studied PPE and yet, alone, all by myself, I have negotiated a deal with Europe. All of you are traitors. For TOO MANY YEARS now Parliament has prevented my actions. It has put every conceivable OBSTACLE in my way!
MAY: I would have done well to have fired ALL my ministers years ago, you think PUTIN puts up with this?!
MAY: FROM THE VERY BEGINNING I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED AND DECEIVED BY PARLIAMENT!
MAY: What a monstrous betrayal of the British people! But all of you, the traitors, the MPs, will pay. YOU SHALL PAY YOURSELVES... AND BE VOTED OUT!

<Outside. Stephen is crying>

FOX: It's okay, Stephen. Calm down!
<Inside>

MAY: My orders are lost to the wind. It is impossible to lead in these circumstances. It is over. This war is lost. But if you think I'll vacate this office, you are very much mistaken!
ALL:
MAY: I would rather put a bullet through the economy. Do what you want now. Go.
<Outside Number 10>

HAMMOND: What the FUCK was that?!
LIDINGTON: I don't... she can't...
RUDD: Michael, how are you so calm?!
GOVE: hMM? oH. I wAS JuST reMEMbeRING THaT i'VE hEArd sOmEONe sAY aLL tHAT befORE
HAMMOND: You have?!
GOVE: oH yES. anD iT sOUNdeD muCH beTTer iN GerMAN.
WHOOOO There's STILL time to back The Brexit Tapes as a book! And we have stretch goals! Gove and M'Greh pin badges! Dice! And more to come!

Pledge here... unbound.com/books/the-brex…

If you're new, start here:

Most recent:
EDITORS NOTE: There's at least one Tape between this one and the last, but that's not finished. IRL brexit is moving quicker than I can satirise it.

Once I've finished that (and i may even split it) I'll put that up, but after last night it seemed right to get this one out now
ADDENDUM: Of course this is just the 'official' Brexit Tapes version of last night.

I actually did a proper (and more lighthearted) Downfall video for the original Bercow statement. You can find that here. captiongenerator.com/1330732/May-vs…
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