Can we talk about a serious topic? How women have to be on guard because they don’t feel safe around men — this story just happened to me... (thread) /1
I just returned from shopping at Harbor Freight. Now, not too many single women are in such store since it sales tools & such. I was filling my cart with a few items and a man in the same aisle remarked I must be moving. /2
I replied no and I was just picking up a few things for my hangar. Which led to me saying I was a pilot. The guy gave me his card for a pool cleaning biz. I said I didn’t have a pool and lived in LA, but thanks. He lived nearby. 🤨 /3
Ok, a little forward but I replied nice meeting you and I’m gonna keep shopping. He took the hint and moved away. Or so I thought. /4
I finished my shopping, used a ton of coupons and pushed my cart out the store into the first row of the parking lot. I loaded items into Jeep and turn around as the same man drives up in a big Ford truck. My alarm bells go off big time. /5
His truck is between me and the storefront. He says something non-threatening that I don’t hear because alarm bells. I make a still nice (as I don’t want to inflame situation) comment about nice running into you, I need to take cart back. /6
He says something about he hopes I call and I reply something noncommittal. I lock Jeep with clicker and push my cart towards back of his truck to go around. Thankfully he drives forward like he’s leaving. /7
I take cart back. When I turn around I see he is now waiting in front of my Jeep. Fear starts rising. I hang out in front of store trying to decide what to do. Should I go inside and tell them I feel threatened? Am I being silly? /8
I think he saw me watching him and he drove on. I carefully walked to Jeep keeping myself out of sight. Jumped in & locked door. And then I realize he has stopped maybe 30 yards ahead in main drive!!! It’s the only way out of store lot. I sit in Jeep waiting. /9
I watch his truck drive out of my section of lot toward street. I start Jeep after a minute and head out. He is ahead behind a car at stop sign. He signals left. I signal left and then as he pulls out and waits for a passing car, I turn right. And get the hell out of there! /10
It rattled me. If you’ve met me, I’m a very friendly Texan in SoCal. I don’t want to assume the worst of people, men in particular. But experiences like this shape future interactions. Will I be less inclined to make small talk with a stranger? /11
If I had been unfriendly or even rude could that have escalated? Telling a stranger off & making them angry can lead to violence. I did not initiate first contact and tried to be pleasant in a hardware store! This isn’t a bar. I’m shopping. /12
I wanted to share because I know this kind of thing happens to women all the time. I’m a firecracker and will tell someone off but not if my instincts are screaming GET OUT OF THERE. Sometimes women can’t. Sometimes women don’t realize actions are inappropriate. /13
But men, please realize there is a line between expressing interest and stalking. We aren’t playing hard to get, we’re likely afraid of you and how you’re acting. /14
(Apologies for some typos in thread. I was shook up.)
For those men trying to understand where the line was: Convo inside store fine. I let him know I wasn’t interested by how I reacted to card. Everything in parking lot was unacceptable. He had been waiting for me as he wasn’t in the long line at cash registers.
