Thread by @priya_ebooks

somebody asked me the other day what the most surprising thing i've learnt about dating is and it was this:

men hate it when you're nice to them.they are absolutely allergic to Niceness in the early stage of dating. don't be nice

by nice i mean, you can't do shit like:

"hey, i was just thinking of you because i saw this article. btw, last night was so fun! can't wait to see you again ☺️"

oh my god can you imagine if you sent that text to a dude after like, two dates. lmao

imagine being soft and nice early on. texting them "hey just thinking of you"
sending them songs
giving small presents
asking them how their day went

oh my god they absolutely hate that shit

IT IS SO WEIRD THAT MEN DON'T LIKE YOU BEING SOFT AND NICE TO THEM. but i'm TELLING you. they HATE IT. they hate it more than anything

i guess it's because in their idiotic, underdeveloped brains, they read it as "she's trying to marry me"

i GUESS??????????

it sucks because my natural instinct is to be kind and soft and do nice things for dudes because I WANT TO BE NICE. it just means i like you not that i'm trying to marry you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

straight men please do not @ me that you like it when women are nice to you. congratulations on being an exception. GO TELL YOUR BRETHREN TO STOP MOVING MAD

here are some things i've learned about dating men:

-be cool, be chill early on. be completely indifferent as to whether he's alive or dead
- don't be nice
- don't text first, or seem eager
- send lukewarm texts like "yeah. i guess i could do Friday. i'll let you know"

is this all stupid and rubbish? YES

do i DO these things? no, not always. but i can tell you with confidence that this is the strategy that has the highest success rate with straight men across the board

i guess it comes from the broken state of modern men. they exist in a state of commitmentphobia from like, boyhood to 47

and of course technology enables this. they know they can get endless new options, new girlfriends
at 47 they can decide to settle down with a 27 year old

why commit and idk, face your fears of softness and vulnerability when you can go on endless mediocre dates with new women that you treat kind of shitty for three months and then ghost?

if you see serious, committed monogamous relationships as a trap...well, it's no wonder you HATE women being nice to you. you're worried you're going to be trapped

it's not just me, it's all women who date men. ask us how much we manage our real emotions! how we word texts carefully, so that we don't scare you off. BECAUSE YOU ARE SO EASILY SCARED

you're all running scared and i'm. Fed up

*grabs your shoulders* my dudes

listen. serious relationships are not a trap. love and affection is a wonderful thing, you have no fuckin IDEA how much tenderness can change your world. it's gonna spin on its axis. for real

we are all human and unless you're some kind of psychopath - you NEED that real, intense, human connection. it's gonna be so rich and rewarding for you to cast out that fear you have

you can start small. dw. just relax into it. don't assume that a woman being soft and nice to you is trying to trap you or demand something that you can't give

she just likes you, dude!!!!!!!!!!! let her be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!! this current Model you're doing?

this model of "i'll only date women who seem ice cold and uninterested in me, and then hopefully i'll start liking her enough to reluctantly commit" ????????????

this model SUCKS

that's why we stay editing our texts to remove exclamation marks, so we don't appear too eager. lmao what the fuck. why do this in 2019, you know

someday you guys will discover the joys of being nice to someone and having someone be nice to you....i HOPE. because the way yall are going, i'm starting to lose hope

"yeah i'm fucking this girl a few times a month. i can't really commit, man. idk i'm fucked up. i don't want to hurt anyone. but she's a cool girl yeah like we cuddle and watch movies and shit sometimes. i'm scared of labels. i'm 37"

JESUS IS LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i KNOW you guys feel how real that speech is. i shuddered as i typed it

why should you change? why should you change this great model that you have, where you can fuck new girls all the time and have zero boyfriend expectations on you?

because people having expectations of you is GOOD. your life will be BETTER when people expect things of you, dude

sigh. i don't know how to explain it, or if it even makes sense to yall, or if it's worth it to you

but when people have expectations of you...that means you have a real ass LIFE. you're not a boy anymore. you're a fucking man

you know? you're not just this shadow with like a pullout couch and "some girl who i fuck sometimes because i'm scared of it getting serious"

serious things have their own reward!!!! why else would people have kids??? get married???? do ANYTHING really

let women be nice to you. stop running scared. let us in. face your commitment phobia. confront your fears of vulnerability. embrace radical tenderness. and GROW UP

our crops are dying, Brett. it's about time