Thread by @Haines4Laura

As someone who was groomed by several men growing up, whose boundaries were crossed by men who acted like that what they were doing was innocent in each little crossing, I know how important boundaries are & how big a deal it becomes when we ignore/excuse people crossing them.

I am not saying that what Joe Biden has done rises to the level of sexual assault. His behavior has caused discomfort in women over the years though and even he acknowledges his behavior should change. And, he's right, it should.

Before any of you jump up to say Trump is worse & accused of worse, I'm going to tell you right now I know full well what we have in the White House. No need to try to educate me on the differences between Biden and Trump or the difference between an uncomfortable touch & rape.

I've both been the victim of a rather violent sexual assault when I was 5, lured into further sexual abuse when I was 9, & slowly groomed for more as a teen under the guise of helping me. So spare me any education you think I might still need on the subject. I got the concept.

What I am saying is that unless you have a close relationship with a person that doesn't include an important power differential, & clearly have their consent, you should be keeping your hands, your nose, your mouth, & all your other body parts to yourselves.

And if you don't, it's a big deal. We should not be ignoring or excusing it, let alone promoting it. And we can all do better. If that pisses you off, bye.

And for all of you crying about a critical look at a *possible* Democratic candidate (who hasn't even freaking announced yet), THIS IS WHAT PRIMARIES ARE FOR.

You vet the candidates. You look at their pros, you look at their cons. You look at them in comparison to the rest of the candidates' pros and cons. And then you choose your nominee.

There are at least 14 Dem candidates. At least half of them are strong contenders & will do well against Trump. Do your due diligence w/each. Don't ignore their flaws. Suss them out. Consider them. Look for the candidates to address them. Then make your call in the voting booth.

These are NOT new whispers nor is it a new convo about handsy Joe Biden. His behavior has been labeled problematic for years. How he responds in the face of this now louder, more public convo about his behavior is important & impacts how some will think abt his ability to govern.

Can he own his own mistakes? Can he honor the voices of the women he's made feel uncomfortable? Can he honor the #MeToo mvment & the voices within it while navigating through it w/his own baggage on board? Can he do it without alienating half the population he seeks to govern?

His video statement is a good start. An apology to all who he has made feel uncomfortable over the years will be a good *next* step to take.

Joe Biden will hear about this in the debates. I hope he's ready to continue to own his behavior, not excuse it, and affirm and empower women, including those complaining about his behavior with them, without minimizing their feelings or their experiences of it.

I recommend Biden avoid talking about his intentions. I recommend he instead keep taking responsibility, keep saying he understands better now, and keep reaffirming his commitment to do better going forward.

If Joe Biden wins the nomination, I will vote for him.

Whether or not he gets my vote in the primary though depends at least in part on how he responds to the credible complaints against him & the important issue of respecting other people's boundaries AND believing them, especially women, when they've told you you've crossed them.

Again, I have not said what Biden has done is in any way sexual. This is at its base a boundaries issue. When you ignore and blow past other people's boundaries, you are crossing into territory where abuse of all kinds can and too often does happen.

Victims know this all too well. It's time more people understood and respected the truth of this.

Republicans may have abdicated their vetting responsibilities because they have deplorably decided they don't care. But we are vetting our candidates precisely because WE DO CARE.

It is not "vilifying" to listen to people who have credible complaints against Biden because of his conduct, conduct even he admits often gets him in trouble, conduct even he recognizes he should change.

Nor is it "vilifying" to require Biden to respond to such complaints and for voters to watch for and weigh that response as part of their own personal vetting process in the run up to the primaries.

It is proper. And it is how we stop the devolution of our democracy down to a decades long deplorable and ultimately destructive level.

Let Joe face the music. Let him rise to sing along or sing a new and better song. Or let him decide to sit down.

There should be no BUT because it's Joe. There should be no BUT because he's a Dem. There should be no BUT because of Trump. There should be no buts period. There is no excuse to not vet a candidate or possible candidate for president by how they treat their fellow human beings.

Expect better. Demand better. You'll get better.
Maybe not perfection, but at least decent, and capable, and presidency worthy.
When you don't, you get Trump.

@threadreaderapp please unroll