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when i look back at the day i “came out as trans” to my parents i feel so overwhelmed w guilt & shame. they & i both had no idea the extent to which the ideology had been hammered into my brain as irrefutable.. they did their best and it ended with a screaming match & me leaving.
they had so many questions that i didn’t have answers to because of the huge gaps in logic that i’d been conditioned to ignore. when they pointed them out i became flustered and overwhelmed and felt like i was being attacked for the way that i felt. i left after dinner, sobbing.
we didn’t talk directly about it for months. i wasn’t living w them full-time, then. whenever i came home, we danced around the subject and they pointedly ignored referring to me by name or pronouns at all. to me, at the time this was just more of a rejection & fuel to my fire.
i spent so much of my time ENGULFED in queer/trans theory. my peers provided me w more (unbeknownst to me) logical fallacies to get my parents to “understand” where i was coming from. eventually when they saw i was happier being GNC they made the switch to my new name & pronouns.
i know i never convinced my parents that i was “born in the wrong body” or that i was ACTUALLY a man, although for a time i had convinced myself. the reason why they ‘gave in’ was bc they witnessed the (genuine) transformation & growth of my comfort in my body & self expression.
i consider myself VERY lucky that being gender non conforming (aka a masculine female) IS how i feel most happy &and true to myself, & as such testosterone’s changes to my body don’t upset me. but that is NOT THE CASE for all female ppl with rapid onset gender dysphoria!
