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so what can you do? upon hearing this information the instinct is to panic. but what’s most important is taking CARE OF THE FEMALES IN YOUR LIFE IN THIS COMMUNITY FIRST. IF I CAN STRESS ANYTHING IT IS THIS: they are READY for you.
they have male ammunition, support, and it’s all in real time. any point you make these TIMs will twist. what they need is to be told that they are not alone. that they can talk freely with you about their feelings. that you will not judge them, you care and want to support them.
it is like an abusive relationship. the more you push the more they pull. it’s delicate - a balance, and the women are most important. before who is right and who is wrong. there are young females at risk right now. and they are ready to do anything to defend their males.
you will not win if you tell them they’re wrong or the males around them are wrong. the arguments move too fast. once they see you as against their beliefs, your opinion becomes of little value. she’ll be encouraged not to engage with transphobes, for her/their “safety”.
let them express how they feel to you. they have to see it for themselves. they some may be blind to it still. but they need to know that they are not crazy for seeing this, they are not wrong for wanting to trust trans women. but they MUST. put themselves first.
eventually, every female in the queer/trans community will have to decide within herself if she will choose to trust her gut and her instincts, deny what the males in her life are telling her, and realize: THEY HAVE BEEN TREATING US LIKE MEN TREAT WOMEN THE WHOLE TIME.
i speak now to you, afab in the queer community, reading this w her heart racing: you’re allowed to read this. you’re allowed to think these things. you’re allowed to feel this way. you are not hurting anyone. youre not responsible for the way males feel about you naming reality.
ask yourself this: in the trans community, who do you have shared experiences w? what experiences do you REALLY have in common w trans women, not what they have told you you do?
who expresses empathy? who listens? who wants to have conversations? who demands to be listened to?
who expresses empathy? who listens? who wants to have conversations? who demands to be listened to?
this shit is messy. it is multi-layered, and the community is filled with so many different kinds of people. some are less politically progressive, some are militant leftists, some are democrats. this is not A Monolith. these are humans, they are complex and many are deluded.
the key is this: LOVE. empathy. connect on a real human level. share the ways that males in your life have treated you & how it made you feel. every female knows this truth. when we're allowed to speak freely w each other & organize, we gain power. this scares males. let it.
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@threadreaderapp unroll, please
