Gender Roles: A Short Story.
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This afternoon boarding was complete, a female flight attendant approached my row & asked for a volunteer to move to the back to help balance weight of plane.
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This afternoon boarding was complete, a female flight attendant approached my row & asked for a volunteer to move to the back to help balance weight of plane.
We were in row 2 (!) and moving would have meant giving up coveted first exit off plane. But better move than die, right?
The female attendant makes her request to four of us at the same time. I look over and it's me and three men.
Almost instinctually, I hear a voice in my head saying, "Hannah, help this woman out. Go ahead, volunteer, make it easier on everyone. Be a servant."
But then I notice that everyone's eyeing each other to see who will flinch first. And I think to myself, "Nope, it's not your place, Hannah. It is the responsibility of one of these men to volunteer to do the hard thing. You, stay put."
Not getting a response, the flight attendant politely asks again. The men continue their staredown. I stay strong in my seat. The flight attendant adds that if someone doesn't volunteer, she'll select someone.
At this, the man sitting beside me grudgingly caves and moves to the back. The flight attendant thanks him while the two other men look away & try to pretend like nothing awkward had just happened.
Flight resumes per normal and I end up with an empty seat next to me. I also have a couple of strong opinions about the two men across the aisle.
I could say a lot about this brief encounter but a few things will suffice:
1) Men who are willing to sacrifice their privileges are a rare breed--not b/c men are worse than women, but b/c they live in a world that tells them flinching first is a sign of weakness.
1) Men who are willing to sacrifice their privileges are a rare breed--not b/c men are worse than women, but b/c they live in a world that tells them flinching first is a sign of weakness.
2) As women, we need to recognize that certain situations might call us to stay seated, to not budge--not b/c we're being selfish but b/c men must have opportunity (& pressure) to sacrifice first.
3) A gender-neutral society has a hard time asking men to sacrifice in ways that are distinct from women, & yet if we don't, how can we be surprised when men retain the privileges that are also unique to them?
(PS--Since tweeting this, I've realized that "gender neutral" is a potentially confusing term. What I mean is a "gender blind" society--a society that ignores how biological sex affects how me move thru the world.)
