The woman stared at the lights emblazoned on the building. It was just a name, but somehow it wasn't fair a building could have a name and she didn't. But then, she thought a lot of things weren't fair.
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Smoke wafted from the cigarette, creating a pale wisp of white in the dark night. She exhaled, dispersing the wisp in a balloon of gray. Again, she tried to think back, to remember the day before. And again, there was nothing.
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Carlo had told her that there was no record of her, that her DNA was not in the planetary registry, nor fingerprints or photos or anything else. For all intents and purposes, she really didn't exist. She was a non-person, a ghost.
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A skimmercar zipped by overhead. She wanted to get away, to hop in a skimmer and drive off into the sunset. Maybe she could have a happy ending like in the movies. Or maybe she'd wake up tomorrow lost and alone, no idea who she was.
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She took another pull from the smoldering cigarette. The harsh burn told her she'd never smoked before. Like her skin and the rest of her body, her lungs felt barely used, brand new. The smoke billowed out of her mouth.
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Believing Carlo though, was a whole different thing. Maybe the guy was a sap for a damaged dame with no memory, or maybe he wanted something more. He could have slipped her something to make her forget. Slipped it in a drink. Maybe...
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But Carlo hadn't asked for anything. He just stared at her with his sad eyes, like the only thing in the world he ever wanted was to take care of her, to keep her safe. There was something between them, she just couldn't remember what.
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He loved her, she could tell. But what did that mean? It didn't make him innocent, but staring into his eyes, she never felt any malice. No pity, either. Never that. Only love and sadness.
In the distance, a night bird chirped.
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A gust of wind tugged at her hair. She tasted the moisture on the breeze. Rain was coming. Leaning over the rail, she peered down at the ground more than 250 feet below. Tiny people moved about like ants. She remembered ants.
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The sounds of the world--the wind, the skimmercars, the music from other apartments, even the night birds, threatened to swallow her up. And it didn't matter, wouldn't matter to anyone because she was nobody. She didn't exist.
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"What if..." she mumbled to herself as she leaned further over the rail. She closed her eyes. "What if I could fly?" The wind tugged harder. The woman reveled in the pressure of the air against the side of her face. It was real.
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Condensation on the railing crept under the edges of her hand and she leaned a little farther. The more she leaned, the more she was sure she could fly. And if she couldn't? She smiled. Well then, maybe that was fine too.
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Carlo's words, said just this morning, echoed in her head. "Please, stay here. Stay safe."
She didn't feel like anyone could help. She felt like this was all she was, just this one day. Always, forever she was just one day.
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From what he'd said, that's all she ever was. Every day she awoke with no memory of the past, as if she was rebooting every morning. A tear trickled down her cheek. It was hard to believe that could be real, and yet... Here she was.
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"I was hired years ago to keep you safe," he'd said. "A tragedy, said. But every day, I see you wake up, with the innocence of a child and a lifetime of sadness. Someday, they told me... someday, you'd wake and remember."
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But she hadn't.
One foot came off the floor and she teetered. If she leaned just a hair more, she wouldn't have to worry about waking up with no memory. She could just sleep. Forever.
That wasn't really what she wanted, though.
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She didn't want to sleep. She wanted to wake up, to wake up and remember who she was... And to remember the next day, and the next.
A beep came from inside the apartment, then a door closing.
"I'm home!" Carlo cried out.
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The woman leaned back off the bar and stood up straight. The name blazed in front of her, screaming out to her. "Okay," she said. As the yellow letters told her everything she needed to know, she took a deep breath.
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"Not today. Maybe tomorrow. I may not remember, but..." She smiled to herself. "That's okay, because just for tonight I can be a girl with no past who's starting over. Tonight, I can be Clarice."
And she turned and went inside.
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When she saw his face, it was wet with tears. Pure joy filled his eyes. "No respawn..." he whispered. "You actually stayed."
Clarice didn't know what he meant but smiled too.
The next morning, she awoke... and she remembered.
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Went for a little #Noir bend this time, inspired by Eddie Conway's digital art piece titled Clarice 2049. If you have a sec, please check out more of Eddie's work: artstation.com/artwork/qANY0y
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