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I got invited to a (black queer woman) friend’s bachelorette. Her (white straight) maid of honor asked folks to send money in advance for some of the things she has planned. Cool. Fine. Except this is her Venmo profile pic. 
You better believe I just messaged my friend & her fiancée like, Yo, check your friend. This is an IRL #collectyourcousins going down right now in my life bc you can’t expect me to show up & party with this woman this weekend unless she has been checked on this.
I know white/straight folks can’t dispose of every single one of your problematic friends & family members, but I believe that it’s the responsibility of privileged folks to warn friends & intervene when your person acts a fool.
Don’t excuse it. Don’t ask your marginalized friend to handle or forgive it. Don’t tell them sorry privately but never address it w/ the offender. Nah. You wanna be my friend? Step it up w/ the ppl in your life or don’t invite us to the same spaces bc I *will* check them.
As a Type A only child invested in social justice, I don’t always play well with others. I’m blunt & unapologetic about some things. I once got in a fight with a man I met at a friend’s housewarming party bc he publicly proclaimed he would not have sex w/his pregnant wife.
He said it was gross and weird despite the fact that his wife was clearly indicating her interest in sex. So I may have half-jokingly yelled at him & said I would fuck her myself if he didn’t. 🤷🏾♀️ Which is all the say: invite me to your party at your own risk. 👸🏾👸🏾👸🏾
