Thread by @RemakingManhood

THREAD: Where men need to get to on the issues driving #MeToo (This thread is an excerpt from The Little #MeToo Book for Men.) /1

@lisahickey , the publisher and CEO of @GoodMenProject has a simple point to make about #MeToo...
The #MeToo campaign was originally created in 2007 by activist @TaranaBurke in response to stories of sexual assault she was hearing from girls and women. /2

#MeToo had a huge upsurge in prominence on October 15, 2017, when the actress and activist @Alyssa_Milano tweeted, “If you have been sexually harassed or assaulted, write ‘me too’ in response to this tweet.” Millions of #MeToo stories exploded across social media. /3

For @lisahickey , the singular intention of Milano’s tweet was fulfilled — demonstrating the scale of the problem.
#MeToo is about witnessing and solidarity among millions of victims of sexual harassment, abuse, assault or rape. /4

Any person who takes issue with #MeToo is taking issue, first and foremost, with women saying “Yes, this happened to me, too.” /5

Now take a look at this. It is called the Sexual Assault Pyramid and it represents the various forms of sexual abuse and violence all women are vulnerable to on any given day. To see them all these behaviors arranged by order of impact in one location is simply disgusting. /6

I fully understand that boys and men are often victims of sexual assault and rape. But for this discussion, we will be talking about how our dominant culture of masculinity leaves women vulnerable to sexual assault. And how we, as men, can help change this. /7

In the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that “Approximately 1 in 5 (21.3% or more than 20 million) women in the U.S. reported completed or attempted rape at some point in their lifetime.” /8

Globally, that number is runs so much higher. /9

There are some men who will insist that rape statistics are inflated. Some among us wish to debate how many millions of rapes are actually taking place. Is it actually fifteen million? Ten million? /10

What kind of culture of masculinity is capable of hosting a debate on rape framed in terms of how many millions are actually being raped, instead of how to stop it? /11

Imagine ten women you know. Statistically, two of them are likely to be rape survivors. Now imagine any child’s classroom. Picture any ten of those little girls. Which two of them will be rape survivors? Or perhaps already are? Are we there, yet? Are we feeling a little sick? /12

This is the place men need to get to on the question of #MeToo. /13

As catastrophic as many of the concepts on the Sexual Assault Pyramid are, the word men should also pay attention to is at the bottom right. We need to pay attention to the word *normalization,* for it is here that men’s agency for creating powerful change lies. /14

While the actions at the top of the pyramid like rape or assault would be instantly opposed by most men, the actions at the bottom of the pyramid, actions like locker-room talk or catcalling, take place publicly, often without comment from those of us who are within earshot. /15

When a man at the office says to a group of men around him, “She has a real nice ass,” it’s important to understand this kind of public statement for what it is, for the function it serves in our culture. /16

Men who know better are rolling our eyes or walking away thinking to ourselves, “He's a jerk to say that about women, but I’m not going to get into it.” In our silence, the ongoing assertion that the degradation of women is just part of manhood remains in place. /17

A while back, a guy posted this on my Facebook feed: “Locker-room talk is just that. It is all talk and does not make you a predator.” The idea being, that locker-room talk is harmless. It’s just what men do. /18

Engaging in locker-room talk doesn’t make us predators, but it most certainly perpetuates a culture in which predators can hide. The term “locker-room talk” is literally designed to grant permission, even encourage men to denigrate women. /19

Every "locker room" that exists has an impact on women’s lives. Our words go with us, change us, inform what we do next. Our denigration of women, our choice to remain silent when others do so, takes place in a world populated by women and girls who must coexist with us... /20

...women and girls who must co-exist along with the words, ideas, and predators we as men grant refuge to. /21

Ultimately, it is up to each individual man to decide when he is ready to stand up and put an end to the idea that denigrating, abusing and attacking women is just part of how we collectively define manhood. /22

We, as men, can live into a new culture of masculinity based on the simple moral imperative that all human beings are equal, deserving of equal rights, protection and dignity. /23

If you are a man who has not yet taken a public stand against the denigration of women, ask yourself:
1. What’s your reason for staying silent?
2. If you remain silent who else will be harmed?
3. When you remain silent, how do you feel about yourself? /24

If we, as men, look into our hearts and listen to our better angels, we will understand that it is well past time to publicly stand up to the bullies and abusers of women. It's time, gentlemen. It's well past time. /25

In this way, we will also find our own liberation and redemption.

This thread is based on a chapter from The Little #MeToo Book for Men. Want to start a powerful conversation about masculinity with someone you care about? Get your copy. --> amazon.com/dp/0983466963 /26