, 43 tweets, 22 min read Read on Twitter
And the #AWSsummit keynote starts with the usual video and soundtrack. I'm offering a bounty for the audio track. DMs are open.
And @werner Vogels, husband to renowned bassoonist Annet Vogels takes the stage.

He is also Amazon's CTO. #AWSsummit
And protestors disrupt the business update. I think they work for a competitor. Get some class, Oracle. #AWSsummit
My number of active regions is always a bit off; I forget to include GovCloud and GovCloud east. #AWSSummit
"We made two of these services up as an easter egg. Find them." #AWSsummit
Protestors chanting "Cut ties with ICE." Personally I'm a bit less worried about a few hundred bucks in pilot projects than I am @deloitte's tens of millions in consulting project work for ICE, but that's a separate thread for another time. BACK TO @werner's KEYNOTE! #AWSsummit
Or not. More protestors. How many registrants showed up just to protest children in cages?

To be clear, they're on the right side of the issue. #AWSsummit
What about storing data in free tier offerings as @ben11kehoe keeps encouraging me to explore? #AWSsummit
"Famously, you're not allowed to work at @awscloud unless you can eat two entire pizzas yourself. We're horizontally scalling our 10x engineers." #AWSsummit
"Which of these should I use?"
"If you're asking that question from scratch, probably LightSail."

I'm not kidding. #AWSsummit
"Why are we giving EKS its own slide?"
"Because after the crap we got for calling it AWSECS4K8S(EKS), we're using the new name every chance we get."

#AWSsummit
"Trillions of executions every month, mostly because people keep falling into the 'Lambda Invokes Itself' trap." #AWSsummit
Huh, @homeaway only uses Lambda. First they gave the home away, and then the servers. #AWSsummit
"It's not just startiups; many large, established customers are using Lambda." To fill in AWS service gaps, mainly... #AWSsummit
I used to work for a @FINRA regulated company. These folks are no joke. They're doing amazing and serious work. #AWSsummit
"We're all in on the cloud." When your regulator says that, your justification for not trusting cloud start to look awfully flimsy. #AWSsummit
And @werner returns to the stage with a Slide Full of Horrors. #AWSsummit
I see that @mipsytipsy has been evangelizing in Seattle... #AWSsummit
Man, my CloudWatch hit piece did *not* age well. Well done to @bobwilkinson20 and his team. #AWSSummit
Now annoucing Amazon EventBridge.

Your applications can now participate in event-driven architectures.
It's like a choose your own adventure novel where the bad endings all involve the bill. #AWSsummit
"It's not just Lambda."
"We codify our best practices into our service offerings. Never hire the lactose intolerant." #AWSsummit
"I feel we should be very clear that the term 'Developer Tools' doesn't refer to humans..." #AWSsummit
VScode support now out of preview. I can't overstate how much I love @code.

iPad frontend please. #AWSsummit
You may be good, but are you "able to type on a slide for a demo without visibly using a keyboard" good? @awscloud doesn't pass out "Principal" titles lightly. #AWSsummit
I'm curious to see what kite.com could make of the CDK stuff. #AWSsummit
The AWS Cloud Developer Kit or "CDK" has gone GA. This tool lets you model and provision your code in programming languages like Python, and fake programming languages like Typescript. #AWSSummit
The "CloudFormation is painful enough that we're giving you large numbers of abstractions to make it usable by humans" pig has been sufficiently lipsticked and heavily perfumed. #AWSsummit
Now @werner returns to the stage to talk about continuous security. This isn't a new direction for the CTO who apparently owns an entire closet full of "Encrypt Everything" t-shirts. #AWSsummit

Credit where due: @awscloud lives the talk.
Now talking about databases. What's the under on insulting Microsoft/Oracle? #AWSsummit
Me: "Your naming convention is inconsistent and has no theme."
@awscloud: *begins naming database services after Disney princesses* #AWSsummit
Now @andyfang (CTO of @doordash) takes the stage to talk about delivering food.

I want someone to pitch him on Continuous Delivery for Food. #AWSsummit
So @andyfang is talking about the database story that got them to where they are today. #AWSsummit

Large commercial databases conspiciously absent.
Talking about how Aurora grows dynamically.

It's true; I'd love to see it able to vacuum / shrink volumes. #awswishlist #AWSsummit
Let's diagnose their architecture. It's like "Twitter Plays @awscloud Solutions Architect." #AWSsummit
"Why would they want to run Aurora instead of PostgreSQL on top of EC2?"

"Well for starters they don't pay for cross-AZ data transfer for replication that way..."

#AWSsummit
Looking forward to talking to @andyfang a little later on @theCUBE.

Now @werner returns to the stage to talk about something terrible. #AWSsummit
Okay, I'm going to call shenanigans on @awscloud including Amazon dot com in its RedShift customer list.
Ooh, you can use Spot now to train Sagemaker jobs. That's a cost win. #AWSsummit
And then I left to go host @theCUBE, and missed the announcements about the AWS/400 and the new AWS Systems Manager Session Manager Tunnel Manager Window Manager. #AWSsummit
To be very clear, at the time of this tweet it wasn’t at all clear what the protest was about. The management regrets the error.
If you enjoyed this sarcastic thread, get my snark weekly via email at lastweekinaws.com
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