Thread by @cmclymer

This image of me has been going around 4chan and other awful parts of the web with similar transphobic commentary. Over the past few weeks, I've had TERFS and trolls send it to me and even some friendly folks who want me to be aware it exists? So, I want to be clear... (thread)

I realize this is an effort to shame my general appearance and invalidate my humanity. And I know this may come as a shock to many of you, but... I really love the way I look. I am genuinely confident in my own skin since coming out of the closet. I think I'm quite gorgeous.

And I know that the vast majority of folks probably don't find me particularly attractive. I guess that should bother me, but I'm at peace with it. I think back to when I was in the closet and presenting as a conventionally-attractive male and how consistently miserable I was.

I would dress in nice suits with a clean haircut--look "normal"--and it made me feel constantly anxious and depressed. Sometimes, I would avoid going to public events. I hated compliments on my male appearance. Truthfully, I hated that folks found me attractive as a "male".

Because I didn't feel attractive. I felt depressed and angry, and I so badly wanted to present to the world how I felt internally. Every day that I've been able to walk out my door presenting as femme has been a gift. Every day has been worth the hatred flooding me online.

You may look at that picture and see someone who makes you cringe in disbelief. I look at that picture and see happiness and survival. I have never been happier than I've been out of the closet and living my authentic self. It is truly the best thing in the world.

I didn't know it was possible to be this happy, and in fact, a few months after coming out, it slowly dawned on me how unhappy and depressed I had been in the closet. I want all those years back. I want that time again. My only regret is not coming out sooner.

Now, are there things I want to improve about my appearance? Sure, and that'll come with time, but if my choice was between what you see in that picture and being in the closet, I choose that beautiful woman every day without hesitation. I am proud of her. She survived.

And here's my message specifically to those of you who invest quite a lot of energy into hating this and mocking it: I truly hope you feel this happy someday. I wish that for you. It's life-changing to feel comfortable in your own skin. I hope you find healing.

This picture was taken from @TheNewAgenda's National Girlfriends Day event earlier this year, where I participated in a panel on women in the workplace. The young woman in that original pic was very kindly praising my work and asked for advice on trans-inclusive policies. ❤️