Thread by @jeremynewberger

@realDonaldTrump Pregame show?

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: I was looking for early mention of Lisa Page and her lover this AM, but I did not see Psycho Lover coming out of the gate. Thoughts Tim?
HOST 2: Look, the President doesn't like spelling Strzok. It has a weird z in it. Look for all sorts of new monikers out of the gate.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: I see that Robert Mueller is entering the building. What do you think its like for Team Trump right now?
HOST 2: Well, it probably feels like they are stuck in a Porta-Potty in 1000 degree temperatures at a Barry Manilow concert in New Jersey. Not good Bill.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: If you are the President, what do you do this morning?
HOST 2: I'd keep working on the dossier. It's a fun word to say. Sounds like Courvoisier. He can make it an alliteration. Dirty Dossier. For the low information set, it's easy to focus on. I call this Rope-the-dopes.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: What about the Obstruction stuff cause we might hear what the report actually says.
HOST 2: The President has to keep tweeting his brand's mantra. No Collusion, No Obstruction. The only thing that can make it no Obstruction is the repetition of the words No Obstruction.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: Any surprises you think?
HOST 2: Watch for William Barr. If he shifts left in his chair, its his hemorrhoids, but if he shifts right Bill, I think he goes nuclear.
HOST 1: What's that look like?
HOST 2: Arresting Mueller.
HOST 1: He can do that?
HOST 2: He can say he can.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: We're gonna take a station break. This broadcast is sponsored by the Mueller Report, #1 Best Seller, available wherever it is you buy books.
HOST 2: Did you read it Bill?
HOST 1: No. You?
HOST 2: No. I have a life.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: The President just tweeted that Robert Mueller lied about wanting to be head of the FBI. How does that play?
HOST 2: I think it's exciting if you're Lou Dobbs or a guy in a white van parked outside a TV station, or had a lobotomy, but I'm not so sure it plays in Peoria.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: You think he is losing focus?
HOST 2: He has to stay on his golden oldies. Keep fluctuating the number of angry Democrats, describe the affair of the FBI agents like it involved butt stuff, and throwing out witch hunt indiscriminately. New lies will be a distraction.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: What will we will learn today from Trump confidants?
HOST 2: I think we are gonna see a new side of Lindsey Graham.
HOST 1: Another new side?
HOST 2: A newer side. If Mueller reads a document he wrote months ago and published publicly out loud, that's a new ballgame.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: And what about the 800 pound elephant in the room?
HOST 2: Well, the President wont actually be in the room.
HOST 1: No I mean Russia.
HOST 2: Yes, Russia is the wild card. If Mueller paints a strong enough picture connecting Trump to Russia, look for nothing to happen.

@realDonaldTrump HOST 1: We have to take another station break. Reminder, our pregame Mueller Hearing coverage is sponsored by Trump Plastic Straws. Nothing says plastic suckers more than the people buying Trump straws.
HOST 2: I want one.
HOST 1: Yes. Yes. You do.