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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 4 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
The Missouri River used to be meandering, but was straightened out in the 1950s for flood prevention; dooming Carter Lake to be forever trapped on the Nebraska side
it's a damned geograhical oddity, I'll tell you whut
after further research, turns out it was stranded in Nebraska after the Missouri River suddenly decided to change its course in 1877, and there were 2 separate US Supreme Court rulings on its statehood (Nebraska v Iowa 1892, Nebraska v Iowa 1972)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carter_La…
So you think you can hold our people hostage, Nebraska? Well, two can play that game
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Humdinger, Doozy, Lollapalooza, and Gobsmacker still in race for now
Sadly he could never live up to the dazzle and razzamatazz pizzazz of former Hawkeye humdinger Iowa Senator Bourke Hickenlooper
Hickenlooper's campaign was doomed from the start by the one flaw fatal to any aspiring presidential candidate: syllables
Read 4 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
The best way to keep our teenage boys from falling victim to online misogynist alt-right predators is careful monitoring and non-stop comedy lectures from their moms
I guess we need a remake of Reefer Madness, except for off-color jokes
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Tariffs are good for the economy and America consumers and China pays for them, except during Christmas

It's the holy season where devout Christians celebrate the birth of the Messiah by refusing to pay $0.02 extra for a can of soup
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