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Sami Schalk
@DrSamiSchalk
, 4 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Good morning, bbs. After thoughtfully reading your suggestions, I’ve officially decided to name this unicorn bottle hugger toy Mx. Taffeta Champagne Sparkles—Taffy if ya nasty. Mx. Sparkles uses she/her or they/them pronouns & enjoys clinging to things to bring joy to the world.
Keep an eye out for my “adventures” with Taffy this academic year as I go up for tenure & write my second book while on fellowship leave. I anticipate having many days where Mx. Sparkles is the only being I interact with all day. 🙃 #unicorn #AmWriting #ThingsIDoToAmuseMyself
You can follow Taffy on @instagram now: taffetachampagnesparkles. You’re welcome.
Mx. Sparkles’ IG is up and running

instagram.com/p/B1yixRsDb8K/…
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More from @DrSamiSchalk see all

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Sami Schalk
@DrSamiSchalk
Yall. I am officially too old and too Type A to attend poorly planned parties. Get your shit together people.
Yall, I am going to need like a Type A Serenity Prayer to stay calm today & not take over running this entire party I’m about to attend...

Beyoncé grant me the serenity to accept that some people’s standards are different than mine...
How your party gon be such a mess that it give ME anxiety as a guest?! 😂😫😭
Read 4 tweets
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Sami Schalk
@DrSamiSchalk
My mom cleaned her house for a garage sale & apparently found a savings bond for $50 that I won in a recycled art contest when I was like 10. It has finally matured. She put it in the mail for me. That “Be a Deer, Recycle” reindeer sculpture made of cardboard really paid off.
Side note: Ten year old me was extremely disappointed to learn that the $50 first prize was a fucking savings bond. What a shitty prize. $50 was so much money to me then. As an adult I’m just annoyed I have to physically go to a bank & interact with humans to cash it.
Side note 2: Yes, I did come up with that punny title all by myself at ten. Yes, my sculpture did stand on its own and was nearly 3 ft tall. Yes, I was a nerdy overachieving child. And look at me now, bitches.
Read 3 tweets
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Sami Schalk
@DrSamiSchalk
My white friend adopted a black baby girl & I gave him some hair tips. He just texted me a pic of a style he did & thanked me so now I’m like 😭😭😭. All I ever want is to make things a little easier for kids like me: black, queer, girl, etc.
Seriously, if you are a white person with a child of color, PLEASE consult with people of color on hair care & other racial issues. Give your kids connections to other POCs. It can be a psychic lifesaver.
Addendum: Don’t ask random people of color! Ask your POC friends if you have them and they are willing or go to a POC salon and PAY someone to teach you.
Read 3 tweets

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