, 10 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
I have seen this verse quoted at me by "Christian" gun nuts one time too many. So, this is going to be an embarrassing moment: when an atheist who has actually read the Bible educates self-professed Christians on what it says.
Avert your eyes, for this will get bloody.
So, according to "Christian" gun nuts my boy J-Dawg instructs his homies to get themselves some chrome because shit's gonna get real, right? Hell, don't take my word for it. Luke 22:36 says so. So, J-Money must've been all about dealing out some sweet, sweet self-defense, yo!
And this is totally believable because, hell, who else gonna tell you to lay down the law of the streets on the Romans if not the dude who says to "turn the other cheek" and also “All who take the sword will perish by the sword”, at least according to his main man Matthew 26:52.
Oh, wait, is the Bible telling us that J-Man was totally not into delicious violence? It seems to. Full of the hippy-dippy pacifist stuff. So, why is Jay-Zus H. telling his gang to gear up? And, specifically, why is he telling them that two swords will be enough? (Luke again)
Is Sweet Baby J saying that they can beat the Roman regiment with two swords only because the way of the ninja and crap? But no! The second one of his disciples takes the sword and strikes a servant of the priest (Luke 22:49), J's all, "Hey, put that away" AND HEALS THE WOUND!
And then what does my man say? Why he turns to the priests and goes, "Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs?" (Luke 22:52) Like, hey, man, why you do me like dat? We just chillin' here.
One doesn't have to be a theologian to see a slight logical incongruity
Jesus tells his crew to get weapons which they aren't even meant to use, least of all for self-defense. The apostles, stupid rednecks that they were, naturally assumed the opposite, but J's intention is clearly to show the priests that, despite appearances, his dudes are peaceful
J-man provokes a bit of violence, then immediately stops it, eliminates its effect and gets a big, fat teachable moment: "Weapons are not the answer, dawgs. If you use them, you get got yourselves. Be excellent to each other instead."
Which, actually, sounds like good ole J, no?
But this is what happens when social conservatives who have slept through Sunday school and have no curiosity or patience to actually READ THE FUCKING VERSE IN QUESTION see one quote out of context and get the idea that Jesus was all about sword combat and bloody vengeance.
Could it be that most of the gun-nut "Christian" conservatives have little to no education and only a passing interest in Christianity, inasmuch as it represents the vestiges of white culture to them and nothing else?
Hey, I am an atheist. I don't know. I report. You decide.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Slava Malamud
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!