Thread by @mylessgolden

I think it’s funny how I can walk into a room, greet people, move silently, & still be labeled as a “disruption,” and/or, “aggressive.”

When wanting to further investigate, in the past, I have asked questions along the lines of, “Why does my silence affect you?” Which looking back I regret because I have always been met with, “You change the energy of the room,” and/or, “It seems like you’re upset.”

My first reaction to this is, if people are invested in what they are doing & interested in their actions currently within their life, why would my presence even be a factor?

My second thoughts are moreso a line of questioning, 1. What is your space begin & my space end? 2. What responsibility do you have to mantaining/caring for your energy? 3. What is your proximity to silence? 4. When does your feelings’ validity begin to impede on (my) reality?

I think about perception, space, & boundary making here because I have noticed that black & POC femmes & GNC folks in particular, are often led to believe that we are suppose to be responsible for carrying other peoples perceptions.

I honestly think many people who have access to power(s), namely cis-men & white people (& sometimes even non-black folks), are threatened by & feel ownership over other peoples silence & autonomy.

For example, I was walking in Brookline with one of my friends, minding my business, & at least twice through the silences in-between conversations he feels it necessary to tell me about all the men who keep staring at me/moving away from me.

Here, not only do these men-strangers feel threatened by my queer black presence in a public they feel entitled to, but also in the same moment my friend feels entitled to my silence(ing). To the point where he feels it’s his responsibility to interject his viewpoint onto me.

Yes, the argument can be made that my friend had good intentions, but the reality of what I am left with in/after that moment is the feeling of a panopticism. My space, my reaction to power, my distancing, my energy, then is being owned & negotiated by others.

This grappling I think will always be a reality for me & others at similar intersections.

I guess the point I want to depart on is, you can only be responsible for your impact when others have holistic understandings of your personhood & boundaries.