Thread by @personunsure

i’ve spent a lot of time with my kids this week

much of it has been rough

there’s a lot of yelling and screaming

a lot of pointless disagreement

among these are glimpses of contagious joy

a little boy howling in laughter at a penguin who follows his hand

a little girl sitting in my lap and singing about mermaids

snuggling between them at night as they ask for the story of how the little boy was born

in reflection, we are not that different

we are out of our comfort zones, we are sleepy, we carry silent, personal expectations that we struggle to verbalize

i am not great with little kids. i never have been

and my response has not been stellar

i’ve found myself cold towards them

spaced out, lost in thought, focused on breathing to avoid the anxiety

just because i don’t scream when i don’t get my way doesn’t mean i have license to scorn their outbursts

today i’m cognizant of compassion

aware that my family is also gentle with me when i am overwhelmed, and that there is joy around the corner of every tense moment