Just keep repeating that to yourself until you break that bond you have to patriarchal DARVO politics that sees everything through the lens of the perpetrator, not the victim. Kavanaugh sobbing hysterically is pure gaslighting.
Bullying them for disclosing or bullying them for silence is still bullying & as such is doing the work of gender oppression.
Also: these constructs harm men, too.
The pressure to be violent is real. But can be resisted.