Thread by @vandroidhelsing

1 like = 1 small American town and its annual harvest festival where strangers are definitely welcome

1. Springfield, OR. Every October is the Corn Mazing. They've got bobbing for apples, all manner of fried food, and the crowning of the Pumpkin Queen. Tickets are free for out-of-towners! Expect locals to be delighted and totally unsurprised if you make it out of the labyrinth!

2. Springfield, PA. The first weekend in October is the Bonfire Night And Carnival, put on by the local clown college. Saturday at midnight is the unveiling of the Winter Clown! You don't want to miss it! For a cent you can dunk him! For a prayer he won't come back up!

3. Springfield, MA. On the last day of September, they've got Maple Fest. Everyone walks into the woods for a picnic and some leaf-peeping. Most everyone who was born there has a delightful time & comes back out of the woods. When there's no Maple Fest, the syrup's not as sweet.

4. Springfield, Fl. Now seasons aren't quite the same in Florida as elsewhere, so they've got Gator Days, a week of boating, parades & picnics. You can buy a scratch ticket and win prizes! If the ticket has a smiley face, you've won the greatest prize of all! It's down this path.

5. Springfield, CA. When they harvest the Napa grapes and the grass is sere, it's time for Chardonn-Days! (The name's new, the festival isn't.) Costumes and a torchlight parade make this a fun occasion! If you see a man in a suit of grape leaves, be sure to hear his whispers!

6. Springfield, TX. Come the equinox, they've got the Festival of Lights! The whole town goes down to a barbecue on the rocky plain where the lights are! See them go up endlessly from the earth! Hear their hum! And be sure to try the brisket.

7. Springfield, MT. The 1st full moon after the autumn equinox is the holiday of Haymake! (Not haymaking. They WILL correct you.) The mayor goes out with a scythe for the first reaping, then comes back the same person who left, except the eyes. Also there's a battle of the bands!

8. Springfield, CT. November 1 is the Springfield Literary Festival! A truly wonderful time for any book lover. Dotty's Café always has literature-themed pies, like Lime & Punishment or Apples Shrugged. It's usually best to leave before the midnight reading of the town chronicle.

9. Springfield, IA. The first frost marks the beginning of Meat Week! Enjoy sausage, ribs, bacon, barbecue, and blood sausage. Don’t miss the closing ceremony in the square when everyone gathers to chant HAIL THE FLESH HAIL THE FLESH then turns to look at you, still chanting.

10. Springfield, OH. Folks here brought their own calendar from the Old Country (which old country? They're not telling!) and on the day of Barleybeard they gather shuck corn. Oh how they shuck it. How their hands fly. How enthusiastic, how incautious their peeling becomes

11. Springfield, WA. September 15 is Applemania! Join the happy townsfolk as they bring in the harvest. If you help pick, you can eat all the apples you want. But if you bite into one and the center is black and dusty, it's best not to run. That would spoil the next harvest.

12. Springfield, ME. When the first pig's killed, it's time to crown the autumn queen in the old red barn beyond the hedge! Bring a dessert & side to share; the main dish is provided out of the queen's own bounty! When it's singing time, join in. Better than hearing the silence.

13. Springfield, NC. They don't call the festival anything, and they certainly don't publicize it, but every fall when the Ragged Man dons his ragged vest, here come the tourists, snapping pictures and talking about how quaint it is and laughing at the Ragged Man. He only smiles.

14. Springfield, SC. The carnival always rolls into town about October 5, moon depending. They've got everything you'd want from a carnival: treats, performers, a hall of mirrors. As for rides, there's only the Ferris wheel, and you don't want to be in the top car when it stops.

15. Springfield, LA. The French started this festival in 1713, and it hasn't changed much since: the saint comes out on October 15, all bones and blood, rank with holiness, & everyone dances, & there's a traditional choux pastry. But each year it gets harder to put the saint back

16. Springfield, NV. Since 1954 some casino owner has sponsored a week-long fall celebration out in the desert. Gaming tables, the best food and drink in three states, all at no cost. The chips at the tables are bone; what are you wagering, if everything is free?

17. Springfield, UT. Follow the signs up into the foothills. This will be the most fun you've ever had at a church harvest festival. (Which, okay, may not be saying much.) Just keep following the signs. It's up ahead here. There's gonna be so much pie. No, further. See the signs?

18. Springfield, RI. The first new moon after the equinox is the occasion of the Big Bake. A young man is chosen as king for the evening and presented with an engraved quahog shell, which he must hold. It will be retrieved later. The town provides the clams; bring a side dish.

19. Hozier, IL. The town sets up white tents on the bank of the Mississippi. Among the pie contests & games, don't miss the Doll Tent, where you can make a tiny effigy to carry all that went wrong in the last year. Set it adrift on the river. If you see it later, ignore its cries

20. Springfield, KY. Every September 29, it's time for the Chase! Participants run from the north border of town to the south. You're encouraged not to turn your head, no matter what you hear. There are drinks and food at the end, for anyone who crosses the finish line.

21. Springfield, AZ. Seven days past the equinox, it's time for Desert Daze! The party takes place outside town, near the red rocks. A week of games, contests, and potlucks later, everything culminates in the Hundred Yard Dash! Loser makes the rocks redder! Winner gets a Buick!

22. Springfield, ID. They just opened this one up to outsiders. The brochure appears to have been written in crayon by a child, though, and the wobbly illustrations of people show a distressing number of joints per limb. But I hear there's a hot dog eating contest!

23. Springfield, WI. Down at the edge of town is the spring, where all gather for Firefly Night, and kids skip through the dark, hoping to be the one who spots the last firefly of the season. That child is then supposed to scream THE LIGHT HAS FAILED, but mostly they just scream.

24. Springfield, KS. September 5-12 is Hay Days (don't worry, the pun is the only thing wrong here!), where hay is made. Per tradition, wear old clothes inside out. Don't miss the building of the Straw Palace and its burning once it's been filled with the year's scarecrows!

25. Springfield, VT. On November 1 they pull out the pumpkin rides and the hay-carving contests. The third outsider to enter town is designated the Official Stranger and is shunned or spat upon by the populace until midnight. But then they get an Old Navy gift card, so.

26. Springfield, GA. The first Sunday after Halloween is the Cornfield Dance. From sunup to sundown the women jig in the municipal corn. The one who makes it the longest is queen for a day and gets a sweet potato to herself. The one who falls first is left for the corn.

26. Springfield, NH. Up in the mountains there's an old man. He usually comes down Main Street about October 7. Everyone must be there to greet him. He passes out maple candy to anyone who smiles at him. He's a festival of one. When he goes back, someone goes with him.

27. Springfield, CT. They turn the big white house at the end of the lane into a haunted house, and everyone goes in for a party. Webs everywhere, linen ghosts in the corners, every door open and every window shut. What's the festival celebrating? Just you open a window and see.

28. Springfield, TN. They don't have a harvest festival here or holidays at all, really. No days off, even, in accordance with the rhyme.
Wash on Monday
Iron on Tuesday
Mend on Wednesday
Churn on Thursday
Clean on Friday
Bake on Saturday
Butcher on Sunday

They eat a lot of meat

29. Springfield, IN. On October 31 they gather for a fair to honor the Hollow where the town sits. Kids these days don't understand the importance of the Hollow, how essential it is that what's under Springfield stays quiet and forgotten. They'll soon learn what not to remember.

30. Springfield, DE. Around September 18 they light candles on the beach. A brass band plays. Everyone over thirteen wades into the sea. You can see their candles as they go, like stars over the sky. If one winks out, it'll be a fever year. If two, well, that's never happened.

31. Springfield, NM. There's nothing to harvest around here. All the food & water & wood are brought in from elsewhere. The town is sustained by tourism: people come to climb rocks. When one of them falls and dies, some old-timer nods grimly. That's celebrating the harvest here.

32. Springfield, NY. If you were born here, you know. If you weren't, you don't.

33. Springfield, CO. When frost comes, they make a figure of pine boughs in the square. Each old family has its own name for this effigy, which they keep secret out of jokey superstition. After 3 days of festivities, it is burned, and they roast potatoes in the embers. It's nice.

34. Springfield, WY. There's a statue of a bear downtown and it watches over all the booths at the annual craft fair. On September 3, people put coins on its pedestal & encourage visitors to do so as well. Probably no harm will come to you if you don't, but who ever really knows?

35. Springfield, AL. There is no Springfield, AL. It shows up on maps. It advertises its fall festival. But if you go there, it's just some trees, the bones of an old shack, and a green bowl. If you think you're from Springfield, AL, something has lied to you.

36. Springfield, MI. When September 23 comes, they go boating on the lake and string up paper lanterns and have the last cookout of the year. On this day of all days, nobody looks at the round green pond just outside town. Everyone knows someone who knows someone who looked—once.

37. Springfield, PA. When everything's gathered into the barn, six young people selected by lottery go around painting a certain hex sign in white on every place where hay is stored. Nobody can agree on whether this means anything, but they agree that there's a party at the end.

38. Springfield, WV. An old coalmining town with a population drawn from all over Europe, the festival here is carefully constructed to unite everyone rather than divide them. If you happen to show up then, don't mind the cold reception. It's not personal. It's just patriotism.

39. Springfield, MO. The self-proclaimed Halloween Capital of South-Central Missouri, the harvest festival here never actually stops. Authorities have managed to keep it contained so far, but a drop in federal funding has made many fear that the barriers will collapse by 2021.

40. Springfield, VA. With a town population of one elderly couple, this festival is just Joan and Diane tying a series of increasingly adorable hats on their cat, and passing out candy to kids coming in from Richmond.

41. Springfield, ND. Located on the border with South Dakota, the town has a festival that overlaps, temporally and geographically, with its neighbor's. Anyone who acknowledges the festival happening in Lower Springfield can be legally detained. It's not pretty.

42. Springfield, SD. Located on the border with North Dakota, the town has a festival that overlaps, temporally and geographically, with its neighbor's. Anyone who acknowledges the festival happening in Upper Springfield can be legally detained. It's not pretty.

43. Springfield, MD. Every autumn equinox, a lucky young woman is crowned Queen of the Horseshoe Crabs. Unfortunately, the state constitution does not provide for abdication. The harvest festival is her last act, official or otherwise.
They say the true queens always bleed blue.

44. Springfield, HI. On November 11 they dig a grave. All kinds of things are put inside, mostly things people want to forget. On November 18 it is filled in. There's a party. Each year they try to find a fresh grave site. Every year they find themselves digging up the same spot.

45. Springfield, ??. On September ?? they ?????? and ????? before moonrise, while up on the ???? the ??? and the ??????? sing the town anthem. At the same time, ????????? except for in leap year, when the raven ???????????? and ????????????, and she ?????????

46. Springfield, AK. As far as we know, it hasn't happened since 1999, due to Old Ned. There are no reliable reports from inside the town at this point; the last person who was able to leave died in 2002, and could only buzz.

47. Springfield, NJ. The Springfield, NJ tourism board does not approve this message. One of the best harvest festivals around! The Springfield, NJ tourism board does not approve this message. Pony rides, bobbing for apples, costumes! The Springfield, NJ tourism board does not ap

48. Springfield, NE. People come from miles around to watch Betty O'Mealey at Husking Day. One hand takes the husk, the other makes it into a little doll. You can buy one for 50 cents and carry it always. If after a week it starts to resemble you, well, that means she likes you!

49. Springfield, AR. Try as I might, I can't remember this one. I know I was there, because I went around singing the Little Rock song from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and nobody thought it was funny. But the festival itself? Static.
Corn. I think I had corn.
Or maybe bisc

50. Springfield, MN. Alongside pie and preserve competitions, there's always a contest to see who has the biggest pumpkin. If a small child can live inside it and sustain themselves for three days on just its seeds and flesh, well then, friend, you've won!

51. Springfield, OK. You can see it from miles away, bright as anything, dark as nothing. How does such a small town produce something like that? Fun as quicksilver, solemn as lead, useful as death, inconvenient as life, holy as blood and as profane. Try the funnel cake.