it's fairly quiet outside of my cage this morning so i thought i'd take a minute to talk about how i ended up here. it starts the way so many of these stories do: i met a man.
i was dancing at a club. i don't recall which one. i'd been to several that night trying to find one that fit my mood. a man came up to me who wasn't terribly attractive but after some conversation, it was clear we shared some common interests.
he asked if i'd ever been to chouchou, i had not but i was following some of the news, so that it was a great time to visit. it was as beautiful as they say. my heart raced as my eyes took in the beauty. i was so caught up in marveling i didn't take any pictures.
after wandering and chatting some more he asked "now we should go to a place that represents the opposite end of the spectrum." my guard was down and i was willing to go anywhere at this point.
after a long drive we ended up passing through a tunnel and coming up in Bad Girls. it was dirty, sleazy, and lurid. my heart raced again because it brought back memories of who i used to be when i chose a life of adventure over going to college.
all of those years ago i hopped on a bus and took it as far as it would go. i thought i'd find a handsome man and a mansion at the end of the line. instead i found the bad part of town: blocks of dirty street where i had to work as a waitress at a strip club.
in an effort to meet people who i thought could help me get somewhere better in life i did things. so many things. so many men and women...at first i was ashamed but soon i discovered i sort of liked being that person. i lost myself.
finally, one day, i met a woman who helped me understand myself better. she told me i was on a destructive path because i didn't understand my submissive nature. she saw qualities in me and brought me to meet her Master.
he lived in a mansion. it seemed like a dream and i was willing to do anything to better myself to serve as the House needed. they told me i was a natural sub. there was a collaring ceremony. the collar felt like a part of me.
we all lived together for nearly a year and it was wonderful. sadly, there was a rift in the House when our Master and Mistress split up. He stopped coming around and she wanted me to become her Mistress. it was complicated and confusing.
((i honestly didn't expect to go into my entire history. lol. i was only going to explain that one night. welp.))
i'm not Dominant. i can be for short spurts but put me in that position for too long and i start to fall apart. i also felt a role reversal wasn't part of our House agreement. plus, i loved Him and wanted to serve Him. he was gone.
i did love Her but, oddly, not her. does tha make sense? one night when the House was quiet i stuck a screwdriver in the lock on my collar, wrote an apologetic note, and fled. it was a difficult decision and i felt bad but also that i had to go.
she was devastated. i was shunned from our group of sisters and friends. i was locked out of the House. i was homeless, so i wandered the world. i explored. for the most part i kept my legs closed, my neck collar free, and i didn't make connections.
although i was homeless it was a good time. i say i didn't make connections but i did meet people. explorers like me. we'd do things like ride rockets through the air, go on deep-sea dives, travel to alien planets, and, most importantly, danced.
it was my first time truly exploring the world and seeing what it had to offer. but, as it so often does, that whispering in the back of my mind started up again.
((oh my gosh, this is so long. i can't finish right now so, um, if you're reading this thread with any interest, i'm sorry! i will get to how i ended up in BG soon, i promise, but now i need to run. tnx fr reading this far!!))
if i realized i was about to tweetstorm about my existence i would have been kind enough to number the tweets. the one above is 17, this one is 18, so the next one, when i get back to it, will be 19. mostly tweeting this for my own reference and to prove i can count to 19. ;)
((okay, back at it)) as i was saying, i wandered but started feeling some familiar needs and cravings. i wanted to settle and find some regular partners/playmates with whom i could explore those cravings. (19/43)
i found myself hanging out at bdsm clubs and i met some very fine people. i continued to learn more about myself, the depth of my submission, expanding my list of kinks, and how to please other partners...but it so often ended the same way... (20/43)
He or She (or occasionally They) would stop coming around or i'd find the relationship wasn't what i was seeking (more on that in a sec) and i'd be stuck wearing this collar attached to a owner who no longer wanted me or no longer fit my needs... (21/43)
so i'd have to find the key or pick the lock and move on. it was always a painful experience because someone was being abandoned - either myself or my partner(s). i enjoy the feel of collars but swore them off because i didn't like that experience of removal... (22/43)
((plus, imo, i'm a damn good roleplayer and can play out everything a collar can do without the limitations of collars)) still, even though i found collars to be heartbreaking i still longed for the feeling of that lock clicking and my life being handed over to another.. (23/43)
...anyway, time passes and until we get to september 29 when i'm out clubbing. i meet that guy all the way up in tweet number 2. we arrive at BG and it takes me back to my first days on my own. my first days exploring myself... (24/43)
those days when i was little more than, let's be honest, a street slut desperate to understand her place in the world. we walked through BG together, joking about what we saw - the contraptions, the perverted signs, the people engaged in public sex... (25/43)
secretly, i was exciting about being there, but he made it sound like he never visited places like that. i alluded to maybe, possibly having visited places like it in the past, but felt ashamed by how above it all he was suddenly acting... (26/43)
and then we ended up in the room with the slave computer. i was busy talkign to him so i didn't bother reading anything in the room. he dared me to push the button. i did. it spit out a set of cuffs, a collar, and a notecard... (27/43)
"oh, now i dare you to put it on," he said to me. i was hesitant. i know we were goofing around at this point but just walking those streets had already triggered the primal part of my brain. combined with the heavy symbolism i place on collars, but he pushed... (28/43)
"come on, let me see what you look like as a naughty collared subby. it'll be fun," he said and, for whatever reason, i gave in. mind you, i hadn't read the notecard. i didn't read any of the warning notices on the walls. i wrapped it around my neck... (29/43)
-click- went the lock and -click- went a switch in my brain. my heart raced as i found myself robotically adding the cuffs to my wrists and ankles. and my knees bent as i lowered myself to the floor at his feet. "am i a pretty sub, Sir?" i asked. (30/43)
he laughed and made some jokes about being a Dommly Dom and owning me. my cheeks burned. it was a mixture of shame and anger ((mind you, i also had a fairly detailed 'pick' in my profile about what submission meant to me)). (31/43)
i went along with his jokes even though it was humiliating, but at the same time i was reading the notecard in the box. i was starting to understand that by putting on the collar i was a slave to Bad Girls - not just a single person, but anyone who visited... (32/43)
"okay, why don't you take that stuff off and let's get out of here," he said ready to continue our exploration. "you can do whatever you want with me," i heard escape from my mouth, shocking myself. he laughed again and said he wanted romance and to wine and dine me... (33/43)
"i don't have a choice," i said tugging at the collar, "the collar takes away my rights." he still thought i was joking, "you can push that button," he explained pointing to a slave emergency release button, "let's get out of here. this place is trash." (34/43)
i was so conflicted. he was nice. we clicked, but the click of the collar was louder. my mind and body wouldn't let me push the button. the word 'slave' was just hanging in the air in front of my face. this was a new experience... (35/43)
locked in one place. ((no one had ever restricted my tps before)). property of not a person but this amorphous concept of the boundaries of land. having to say 'yes' to anyone. the idea was terrifying and exciting.... (36/43)
...and it slammed together that girl i was when i first ran away with the submissive woman i understood myself to be through the passage of time and experiences. "i'm sorry, but i belong to Bad Girls now," I said to him. (37/43)
"Wait, for real? Come on, we were having a good time," he replied. "We still can," I said starting to unbutton my blouse, "but it has to be here. At least for a time. According to the rules I need to reach level 15. Help me get there." (38/43)
I let my blouse fall to the dirty street. "You're too good to act like this. Keep your clothes on and let's go dancing somewhere," he insisted. "I'm really not," I continued while pulling the string holding my skirt at my waist. It fell to my sneakers. (39/43)
"I think this might be exactly who I am," I stepped forward and touched his hand. "Come, it looks like there's a bed in the next room." He squeezed my fingers. "Well, I do have a thing for naked girls in gym shoes." Yes, we had sex, I won't bore you with the details (40/43)
When we finished he apologized. Said he wasn't the sort of guy who sleeps with women on the first date. Completely ignoring the fact that I clearly initiated. And, again, asked me to leave. Dear reader, he still didn't understand.... (41/43)
eventually, he left me behind. after a few more attempts to get me to leave, even sending cars to pick me up (which i had to ignore0, he's stopped returning my texts. i think he may have deleted my number and blocked my number. but that's okay... (42/43)
...part of me wants to be rescued but there's louder part who likes the leather of the collar, steel bars of the cage, humiliation of saying 'yes'...maybe i've been brainwashed? idk. anyway, this is my story of arriving at Bad Girls. ((tl;dr I'm committed to the bit.)) 43/43)
@threadreaderapp unroll please
