Midway. Was. Just. God. Awful.
Where to begin...
The dialogue. What's the worst written movie you've ever witnessed? Multiply that by 200.
A chimpanzee learning American sign language could have concocted a better script.
The dialogue. What's the worst written movie you've ever witnessed? Multiply that by 200.
A chimpanzee learning American sign language could have concocted a better script.
Scene: Pearl Harbor.
"What's going on?"
"The Japanese are attacking us."
Cut scene.
"What's going on?"
"The Japanese are attacking us."
Cut scene.
"Let me put a 500-lb bomb right down their god damn smoke stack" was a real line.
The entire script was a collection cliches.
"Sir, the Japanese are retreating."
Nimitz: "We won."
*Roll credits. Literally the last real line of dialogue is a hollow "We won."
The entire script was a collection cliches.
"Sir, the Japanese are retreating."
Nimitz: "We won."
*Roll credits. Literally the last real line of dialogue is a hollow "We won."
Also, according to "Midway" accents, every person from America is either from the Bronx or a country hick.
Please be more stereotypical of the Japanese, too.
"He is ordering us to charge, like the Samurai, to save our honor."
This was another real line in the film.
"He is ordering us to charge, like the Samurai, to save our honor."
This was another real line in the film.
Woody Harrelson is obviously the most talented cast member here, but he had very little screen time.
This means the best acting in this film was done by the CGI Dauntless dive bombers. Because they had no lines. Therefore, best by default.
This means the best acting in this film was done by the CGI Dauntless dive bombers. Because they had no lines. Therefore, best by default.
Oh and then the true story "recaps" at the end?
"So and so received three Navy Crosses, the Navy's highest decoration for combat." Lol, what?
Dick Best "WON" a Navy Cross.
HOLY SHIT EVEN JUST LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA
"So and so received three Navy Crosses, the Navy's highest decoration for combat." Lol, what?
Dick Best "WON" a Navy Cross.
HOLY SHIT EVEN JUST LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA
This screening, by the way, was attended by a 94-year-old Midway veteran who was on the Yorktown
Imagine surviving that hell just to sit through this portrayal of what you endured
It's like having a movie about the November 2004 Battle for Fallujah directed by Pauly Shore
Imagine surviving that hell just to sit through this portrayal of what you endured
It's like having a movie about the November 2004 Battle for Fallujah directed by Pauly Shore
We got a Jonas brother telling New York and red neck sailors to not be afraid because, hey, you can die in any fashion at any time, so why worry?
I was praying it was choking on popcorn for me to put me out of my misery.
I was praying it was choking on popcorn for me to put me out of my misery.
-27/5 stars
I'm not done yet. A night of reflection has spurred on additional anger about this pile of shit called a film.
Emmerich dedicated "this film to the Americans and Japanese who fought at Midway."
The genocide and wartime atrocities committed by fanatical Japanese against Chinese civilians - not to mention the treatment of American POWs, would give me pause on that one.
The genocide and wartime atrocities committed by fanatical Japanese against Chinese civilians - not to mention the treatment of American POWs, would give me pause on that one.
The Japanese Navy even executes an American prisoner in the movie (RIP Nick Jonas -- and fuck spoilers. This movie will spoil your life) by tying an anchor to his hands and throwing him in the ocean, which is actual tame, historically speaking.
Let's dedicate this film, Roland.
Let's dedicate this film, Roland.
The entire Pearl Harbor sequence felt like a Transformers movie. SO much CGI, and not even good CGI. Early 2000s style. Expected Optimus Prime to pop out any second. "USS ARIZONA, ROLL OUT!"
One officer from the Enterprise arrives and is looking for his friend. He's taken to a room of burnt bodies.
"Did he have any identifying features?" the doc asks.
"He would have been wearing his Annapolis class ring," he answers.
How many officers at Pearl had class rings?
"Did he have any identifying features?" the doc asks.
"He would have been wearing his Annapolis class ring," he answers.
How many officers at Pearl had class rings?
A day later, or a year, who knows. Time seemingly doesn't exist in this movie, his friend is giving a toast at a bar.
"I always thought we'd grow old and tell lies about what we did in the big war."
"I always thought we'd grow old and tell lies about what we did in the big war."
AMERICA WASN'T EVEN AT WAR YET, YOU TROGLODYTE. WHAT BIG WAR WERE YOU WANTING TO TELL STORIES ABOUT YEARS BEFORE PEARL HARBOR?!?!
This writing. This research. This fact-checking. The terminology. The timeline. The acting. The CGI. The sound.
Every department who participated in this film should be sent into deep space.
Every department who participated in this film should be sent into deep space.
If Roland Emmerich took 3 seconds away from shmoozing with Chinese studio heads to learn basic American history and geography, we'd all be better.
Never forget, Dennis Quaid in Emmerich's "Day After Tomorrow" walked... WALKED... from DC to Philadelphia in a day ... in an ice age
Never forget, Dennis Quaid in Emmerich's "Day After Tomorrow" walked... WALKED... from DC to Philadelphia in a day ... in an ice age
