Thread by @GirlzGotGuns

Trans Slim
By Terf War.

Some doctors are cruel, and hurtfully* write on their notes that I am 'morbidly obese'.
This damages my mental health and self-worth.
I will stop seeing and listening to doctors from now on so they cannot casually invalidate me.
...1/ (will be of many!)

I have size dysphoria.
I identify as 'trans slim'.
Therefore, I must genuinely be slim**, and all of you must accept that my Body Mass Index is actually 21, lest you callously invalidate me as a trans sliman and hurt my feelings.
Yes! Regardless of what your eyes tell you! ...2/

Your eyes are deceiving you! They are prejudiced against trans slimen, just as your brain has been conditioned by slimnormativity!
Because trans slims are slims. I understand that now.
You need to understand that also, and – what? What did you say?
No! No arguments! ...3/

Arguments are hate speech and literal violence and discrimination against trans slims!
Our sincerity and our manifold suffering is incontrovertible!
No “evidence” is required! ...4/

No consistence, no persistence, no enduring declarations that we are slim should be necessary for you to accept our truth!
We say it once, and our word alone should be more than enough to satisfy even the likes of you, you bigots! ...5/

Now, repeat after me until it sounds like you not only accept this but that you would crawl over broken glass to make everyone else accept it, too: Trans slims ARE slims.
Trans slims are slims.
Oh, REALLY? That’s the best you can manage? Come on! ...6/

With enthusiasm and enduring passion, now!
Trans slims are slims!
AGAIN! LOUDER! Put some ‘oomph’ into it!
TRANS SLIMS ARE SLIMS!
There, that’s more like it! Wasn’t so hard, was it?
But enough of your bigotry, bullying and literal violence. ...7/

It was such a relief when I realized that I was a trans sliman and that this was the answer to all of my problems at 11:51pm on Friday night.
This is called 'Rapid Onset Size Dysphoria', or ROSD. ...8/

That there is a term for it on the interwebs and there are millions of suffering peeps*** discussing it and realising they have magical inner slimly essence too means ROSD must be true and real. ...9/

I thought that all I needed to do now was to wear slim-appropriate clothing and my happiness would be complete!
People would rally to my newly svelte and sexy side at trans slim rallies and parades because they are overjoyed for me ...10/

now that I have acknowledged my true inner self and beautiful slimly essence.
I want all of you to celebrate my coming out as a trans sliman!
I want the party to be all about how wonderful my newly-discovered magic, inner slimly-person essence is ...11/

and how it can save so many others when they realise they also have it!
But this morning, when I went to the size 6-10 aisle at Myers (like M&S if you're in the UK), selected several garments and carried them to the fitting room to try on, ...12/

the evil attendant looked aghast at me when she realised I was alone.
It was so humiliating!
She told me these things would never fit me and that I’d break the stitching if I tried to put them on. ...13/

She said that I’d have to pay for them, even if they were damaged because they were incorrectly labelled with the wrong size in the first place!
How dare she?
I told her the truth of my identity and that she was discriminating against me and other trans slimen. ...14/

She called me a delusional crackpot and threatened to call the manager if I did not hand the items back before I could try them on.
She is clearly trans slimphobic. She has privilege by being born into the right body. ...15/

She is cis-slim and not oppressed and has not suffered in the ways I suffered when I wrongly believed that I was a non-slim person who did not have magical slimly essence.
Does she not know who I am and how much I have suffered? ...16/

That the law permits discrimination against trans slims like me is outrageous.
So I need all of you to accompany me to the store this afternoon to attack – I mean, to confront – the evil trans slimphobic attendant and her manager, ...17/

and educate them about their bigotry and all of the other errors of their hurtful and invalidating ways.
They and the entire fashion industry must be forced to apologise and reform, so bring scissors to destroy any of the clothing that is hurtfully labelled size 6-8 ...18/

yet does not fit me comfortably.
And if that is such a problem, all garments in future should be made so that ‘One size fits all’.
That would be fairest and would not hurt trans slimen by mis-sizing us.
Because if anything triggers our size dysphoria, ...19/

it is surely clothing that mis-sizes us or invalidates our slimliness.
And we know that size dysphoria can lead to suicide attempts by us if slimly essences are not validated immediately and frequently.****
That, too, is on the interwebs, so it must also be true. ...20/

I have already notified the media of this vitally important protest defending the rights of trans slimen from the vicious, hate-speech and hate-acts of the slim-essentialist fashion industry. ...21/

It is an industry which seeks to exclude size dysphoric people by insisting on categorising us according to the size of our bodies as others perceive them to be, not how we know they really are in all their slimful glory. ...22/

Together, we will win the fight for trans slimen rights to be recognised!
Trans slims ARE slims! Trans slims ARE slims!
I know that all of you will eagerly validate me by using the noun ‘sliman’ to describe me.
Oh, the relief and joy I will feel at the sound of that! ...23/

I will immediately take out a gym membership so that I can stroll around nude in the locker room in the full knowledge that the other slim, fit people there will admire my trans slimliness and applaud and embrace me for it.
Literally, embrace me. ...24/

I am also now delighted to realise that I am at least three, and possibly four, times as sexually desirable than I was before I accepted my true, trans slimly identity. ...25/

I will demand that non-trans slimen with Body Mass Indexes less than or equal to 25 whom I am attracted to must sleep with me in order to validate my slimly identity now that I am one of them. ...26/

If they decline, however politely, I will send unsolicited, naked thigh and bum trans slim cellulite pics (because slims can have cellulite, didn’t you know?*) and accost them with signs pointing out how hurtful and ...27/

invalidating of my identity their literal violence of refusing to let me fuck them has been.
If they still refuse, I will accuse them of being trans slimphobic and carpet-bomb their social media accounts with the slur that best fits them: SERF. ...28/

‘Slim-Exclusive Retail Fashists’. (Or should that be 'Fascists'?)
If they dig their heels in, I will find out where they live and nail a dead rat to their door.
Surely corrective rape is also warranted to punish them for their hate speech and literal violence. ...29/

If they still do not yield, who knows what trans slims like me might be capable of?

*I am, of course, taking the piss. I don’t feel hurt when doctors refer to my obesity. It’s a medical term, and to deny it would be as absurd and delusional ...30/

as agreeing with the proposition, ‘Lesbians can have dicks.’ No. Just no. They really can’t because lesbians are adult female homosexuals, and male people who have dicks that they like to put inside female people’s vaginas are heterosexuals. This isn’t just my opinion. ...31/

It's like a dictionary definition for the entire English langauge. Get over it.

**If our only choices are ‘slim’ and ‘trans slim’, then we can do away with the hurtful categories ‘fat’, ‘obese’ and any derivations thereof. Make them go away. Erase them. Good riddance. ...32/

***Not yet, but any day now. What comes after the size dysphoria movement takes off, I have no idea, but something surely will. You can bet your postmodern, trans wank-nonsense arse on it. ...33/

****Can’t wait for Queer theorists to wade in on this one. Disrupting slimnormativity ought to be an urgent queer research project for social sciences academics to undertake as body size perceptions demonstrably affect sexuality and there should be many more opportunities ...34/

to apply for very important and well-paid funding grants and conference key note speeches. There should be a journal dedicated to Body Size Dysphoria! Why isn’t there one? There needs to be many more publishing opportunities at the very least for trans slim academics. ...35/

And a post-script:

The first of two important questions I most want answered is to do with proof. Now, I don’t dispute for a second that there are genuinely transgendered folk. I happen to know several, of both biological sexes, and I regard them very highly. ...36/

It took them decades to get where they are. I don’t doubt their struggle, their integrity, or the legitimacy of their dysphoria.
But if male people who retain their male genitalia, who have no intention of taking hormones ...37/

lest it interfere with their sexual function (surely that’s telling in itself?), who don’t bother with counselling or any of that other palaver (and that’s about 2/3rds or more of those who claim they’re trans women) – if they really can be women in every sense of the word ...38/

just because they claim to feel that they are, and if ALL that takes is one statement on one occasion to make that happen legally, one statement and you’re issued with a gender recognition certificate, then how is anyone going to empirically disprove that a morbidly obese ...39/

person doesn’t legitimately feel dysphoric about their body’s shape, size and BMI?

How is it reasonable to accommodate one, but not the other?

(As it turns out, some trans women cynically make their one required legal claim for the certificate just before ...40/

they are about to be sentenced to time in prison, and if a prison that has bona fide women with real vaginas is an option, then, hey, can you blame them for trying to get themselves incarcerated at Sex Camp? ...41/

Worse, that their crimes might then be statistically attributed to crimes committed by females – up to and including paedophilia and sexual violence, with which natal females are only very rarely charged… Well, that just rubs salt in the wound, doesn’t it?) ...42/

Morbidly obese people are reminded that their size and shape are considered non-normative at least as often as sincerely transgendered folk are reminded that their biological sex doesn’t match their gender. ...43/

Obese people have also been subjected to discrimination in the job market and on dating sites. They’re taunted, threatened with violence, and they endure discrimination in the myriad other ways there are that one can be discriminated against. ...44/

While ‘Trans Slim’ was written as an absurdist parody, the underlying point is hardly illegitimate.

DNA and detectable hormone levels notwithstanding, since there are no brain scans or blood tests that can objectively and empirically disprove trans’ rights activists’ ...45/

claims that people with intact male genitalia can sincerely feel that they really are women, and therefore deserve access to female-only spaces and to be entitled to deprive female athletes of gold medals at the Olympics, my equally important second question is, ...46/

Where will pitching ourselves head-first down this postmodernist rabbit hole next lead us?
Emboldened as this manipulative rabble are now, what other outrageous claims might an increasingly skeptical public be forced to endure and accommodate? ...47/

Shall we start next on race and eliminate ‘black’, to the benefit of white people and the inevitable erasure of the distinctiveness of Aboriginalities and Africanness? What about religion, ...48/

with the greatest benefits flowing to those most ardent supporters of the One True God? Or – here’s a good one – shoe size. What could go wrong? (Hint: the Soviets tried that one, and no, it didn’t end well. Queues around the block. ...49/

A thousand, eagerly-awaited pairs might turn up at a store, only for them all to be men’s, brown, and all the same size. Well done, Central Planning. For all its imperfections, capitalism at least has its willingness to cater for (and profit from) necessity going for it.) ...50/

Have a nice day, and thank you for reading my critical realist-absurdist parody rant.