Last night I saw one of the craziest damn things I’ve ever seen in all my days. This guy rides solo up into the arcade, walks up to TIME CRISIS II, and plays the game start to finish on one coin — using both guns. That means he’s players 1 and 2 at the same time.
He made it a fully physical performance, taking the time to mime in-character action like holster, draw, and reload his gun during the course of the game. It was...beautiful. As my fellow witness @alex_antone remarked, it was like watching Mozart.
Notice how he looks at one screen while actually shooting at the other. He’s signaling to the observer that he knows what’s going to happen; that he’s lived through this crisis of time again and again in a relentless pursuit of what I can only describe as pure enlightenment.
Meanwhile, I got the high score on a very low scoring game of Tetris. 
Pedantic gamers in my mentions gleefully pointing out that I should have more accurately said one coin for each gun.
All the blogs and influencers will look up and shout "SAVE US!"
And I'll look down and whisper "No."
And I'll look down and whisper "No."
