Why we married bad spouses despite seeing "red flags." [THREAD]
1. The person we married covered up their bad behavior. They didn't reveal it. If exposed, they excused it.
2. Being in love is intoxicating. We didn't want to see it.
3. We had no idea how bad it could become.
1. The person we married covered up their bad behavior. They didn't reveal it. If exposed, they excused it.
2. Being in love is intoxicating. We didn't want to see it.
3. We had no idea how bad it could become.
4. We were given dozens of messages that marriage would fix them. They'd settle down, they'd become more loving, they'd be more committed. The ring on their finger would mean something to them.
5. We were told to "forgive and forget." We weren't allowed reject them as a mate.
5. We were told to "forgive and forget." We weren't allowed reject them as a mate.
6. Once we forgave, we weren't allowed to count that incident. It was as if it never happened. They cheated? You forgave? The tally is back to zero. They have to cheat again (and in worse ways!) for you to get out.
7. We were told we had to *try harder* to hold the relationship together, ignore past violations, overlook current behavior.
Translation = Look the other way. Nothing to see here. It's all on you. They carry no responsibility.
Translation = Look the other way. Nothing to see here. It's all on you. They carry no responsibility.
8. We were taught that our good example would magically make a selfish person generous. No, it doesn't work that way. People make the decision about their own behavior. They may not reciprocate. Sometimes they take advantage instead.
If anyone should *try harder,* it's them.
If anyone should *try harder,* it's them.
