Thread by @QuestionPDX

THREAD 1/: Here's clarification on the subject of telling your kids the truth.

There's lots of controversy lately w/ experts advising parents to hold back & not challenge gender-enthralled kids in case it might make them worse. The problem with that...

2/ ...is that in two years of talking in person & online w/ hundreds of affects parents and/or detransitioners, I've never heard a parent say, "You know what worked for me? Avoiding the subject...."

3/...I've never heard a detransitioned young person say, "You know what I'm most grateful for? My parents staying silent while I harmed myself & let others harm me. That was awesome."

4/ What I see is that parents who withstand push-back succeed over time. But it does take time. And during that time people mistake the push-back itself & the damage already done for evidence that they shouldn't push back. Here's why that's a mistake:

5/ When a house catches fire it takes time for the fire department to get there. It might take 10 hours of pouring water onto the already-engulfed building before the fire goes out.

But they don't look at the damaged building and conclude "water only makes fire worse."

6/ They know that it would have been much worse *without* the water.

They're glad they saved what they could. And they share their notes with others so that the next time someone has a fire maybe water can be supplied earlier and applied more effectively. Save more.

7/ I think it's the same with cults and addiction.

I once consulted a twelve-step group for help w/ an alcoholic family member. The alcoholics told me: "Don't take push-back at face value or be intimidated by it."

8/ One badly damaged man wept & said he wished he'd had someone in his life who cared enough to stand up to his push-back.

I took their advice. Did my push-back magically fix everything? Of course not. Some damage was already done.

9/ But over time recovery came, and push-back from loved ones was a positive factor in that recovery. It was definitely NOT the *cause* of the damage that had already happened--that was the alcohol and the addiction.

10/ Parents, you and your honesty and your human frailty are not the cause of the Gender Cult or the damage it did to your children.

You are the fire department. Some damage has already been done, and some fire will continue to rage even as you pour water onto it.

11/ But now you and your life-saving water are on the scene.

You weren't trained for this, so you'll waste some water. Some who've been through it might teach you a little, maybe help you learn where & how best to apply the water.

12/ But don't listen to the sparks when they tell you water will never work.

That's just something sparks say when they're devouring something precious and then see their feast threatened by a bucket of water.

13/ Someone here said that arguing with the gender cult was like pouring gasoline on it.

I think that's backwards. That's the sparks talking, thirsty for more gasoline.

In truth, it's the gender cult that supplies the gasoline & tells our children to pour it on themselves.

14/ That kind of fire causes terrible damage and is difficult to put out. But someone must try nonetheless.

Remember: YOU didn't start it, and YOU aren't making it worse.

You're simply learning how to put out a difficult fire that no one prepared you for.

15/ It's a question of getting your kid out from under the gasoline spigot & away from the influences of sparks who tell them burning flesh is beautiful and water will never work.

Those sparks are the vestiges of the cult as it flees your child's body. Good riddance to them.

16/ Don't squander your water, and don't talk to the deceitful sparks.

Talk to the wounded child. Show him or her that s/he's worth every drop of water you possess. Show him/her the foundation that's been exposed, and the wonderful old/new person that can be rebuilt from it.

17/ Steer away from those handing you gasoline cans, or suggesting you should just drive on by the burning building to avoid hurting its feelings.

Below is an example of what "water" looked like for me....

18/ And here are links to parent-supporting organizations who've actually put fires out and won't tell you that it can't be done:

kelseycoalition.org/about-us

arlingtonparentcoa.wixsite.com/arlingtonparen…