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CASHIER TONIGHT AT GROCERY STORE: "Have a blessed day!"

WOMAN IN FRONT OF ME: "And you have a fucking, goddamn blessed day too, honey!"
"Have a BLESSED day" is America's favorite form of passive-aggressive proselytizing.
Here is the best part: She said it with the nicest, most friendly, dulcet tone of voice possible. Seriously, she is my hero.
The reason why I thought it was so funny is that "Have a BLESSED day" is so obnoxious.

You can't even be polite to a stranger without making it all about how "religious" you are? Just stop that self-congratulatory foolishness now.
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More from @BettyBowers see all

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Mrs. Betty Bowers
@BettyBowers
Mike Pence's Version of Matthew 25:35-40:

"For I was hungry and you OBSERVED me, I was thirsty and you OBSERVED me, I was a stranger and you OBSERVED me, I was in prison and you OBSERVED me. Do the least for your brothers, and get a jackpot in Heaven!"

Pence's body language is so arrogant and uncaring, it's as if he's thinking, “I'll show socialist, freeloader-enabling Jesus how compassion in done by REAL Christians in REAL America!”#EvangelicalFamilyValues
REMINDER:

The Evangelicals never really cared about values.

The Tea Party never really cared about deficits.
Read 3 tweets
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Mrs. Betty Bowers
@BettyBowers
“Marriage is between one man and one woman. And a pool boy.”

— Jerry Falwell, Jr.
The only thing Mr. & Mrs. Jerry Falwell, Jr. value more than monogamy is variety.
Jerry Falwell, Jr.'s purchase looks a bit like the British actor Joshua Bowman from the only-good-for-one-season "Revenge."
Read 3 tweets
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Mrs. Betty Bowers
@BettyBowers
Thoughts and prayer for @JerryFalwellJr, who took time away from scolding others about their moral failings to join his wife for a tawdry romp with a pool boy.
The parable about the rich Pharisee and the hot, penniless pool boy has always been one of my favorites, too.
Who lied about their being nude Falwell photos in their pool boy scandal?

A. The shady lawyer who is in jail for lying?

or

B. The evangelical scold who tells everyone, every chance he gets, that he’s a man of God?

[CORRECT ANSWER: B]
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

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#𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙔𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙄𝙎𝙏 🆘
@RandyResist
A Message from a very angry and direct friend:
THREAD
“Let me be very, very clear about this:
If you are ok with deporting parents without any plan for the children, if you are ok with separating children from their parents as matter of policy, if you are ok with a president who doesn't give a shit that his rhetoric is taunting domestic terrorists to kill people...
...then I don't want to know you.

That includes acquaintances, random people I run into, and family.
If you are ok with this shit, you are shit. It's that simple....
Read 13 tweets
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[hyunsung au complete]
@hyuninnie
[stray kids x hyunsung au]

hyunsung roommates au where jisung walks in on hyunjin... well... y’know... and suddenly he’s got feelings he never thought he’d ever have in his entire life.

nsfw themes and language but really it’s just going to be dumb and fun 🥴
• please completely ignore dates and times hehe
• i haven’t really structured this whole thing out but. we love figuring things out as we go!
• i want to kind of build a world so that we understand the dynamic before we actually get into the point of the story dlsjshsl
• for my first au i didn’t write anything, it was just completely a text/twt au but! with this one i want to insert writing in parts that i feel deserve it!!
• itzy are also in this au!! uwu.

let’s get into the introduction shall we
Read 257 tweets
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Nosferatu V. Karenina
@NosferatuVK
It’s #Monday, I’m boozing it up at a 4 seat bar, the #barkeep is a long pourer, and I’m all fucking set if I get something stuck between my teeth.👇🙃 #RandomThoughts #drinking #OutAndAbout
Shooting the shit with a friend, she’s proud to be doing well with her plants - unusual for her.

The key was a #video explaining the benefits of pruning.

She needs REASONS. She got them.

Apparently, pruning in a particular manner stimulates growth hormones.
#RandomThoughts
Of course, this led to me initiating a discussion about the #movie I just watched on Hulu, called “The German Doctor.”

The main character was Josef Mengele. #ThisHappened

People, this is why I’m known in my circles as “The Black Hole Of Conversation.” SMTH
#RandomThoughts
Read 239 tweets
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covert_extrovert
@ExtrovertCovert
1) @realDonaldTrump @WhiteHouse @POTUS
#QAnon No. 3241...
Link 2 #POTUS' Tweet ==> #AdamSchiff "[knowingly] & unlawfully lying & leaking, should be forced 2resign from #Congress!"

He's been one of the "Gang of 8", & having pushed falsifications, must go!
2) #QAnon No. 3242...
Link 2 @RepDougCollins Tweet ==> Release of #NellieOhr transcripts.

Links 2 #DougCollins' Congressional home page ==>
dougcollins.house.gov/nellieohr
Link 2 testimony ==>
dougcollins.house.gov/sites/dougcoll…
Form this doc we fin numerous points of note.
3) Among them, #Q notes age 17 which has #NellieOhr confirming she works for the #C_A as an independent contractor.
Twitter thread on this topic...

#QAno @realDonaldTrump @WhiteHouse @POTUS @Phase3 #Justice
Read 72 tweets
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Nyssa Kruse
@NyssaKruse
Reading about the shooting at the Capital Gazette is gutting. I start crying every time not just because the loss of life is tragic but also because it makes me feel like no one understands what journalists do and who we are. So I'm going to try to explain: (1/?)
I work @hartfordcourant right now and in the past six weeks I've: covered 6 graduations, a zone and planning board meeting, a high schooler designing a 3D-printed guitar, a new restaurant, interviewed survivors of Hurricane Maria and more.
My coworkers have written about homicides in Hartford, substandard downtown housing, a woman who had a personal relationship with Fred Rogers, excessive meal bills by public officials and the Travelers Championship.
Read 10 tweets
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Derek Kessler
@derekakessler
On the phone with scammers trying to convince me that I’ve won two million dollars by shopping at Walmart.

I don’t shop at Walmart.

I’m dragging this on by trying to get them to explain how I won this sweepstakes I never entered.

My name is Steve Trevor, born 3 February 1973.
“There are doing unscrupulous people out there, Mr. Trevor.”

“There are, indeed.”
“Don’t tell anyone. We suggest you keep this private from your friend and family until we’ve completed the transfer.”

“Yeah, that sounds smart. I wouldn’t want anybody to get the wrong idea about me.”

“You’ll not tell no one, Mr. Steve?”

“My lips are sealed.”
Read 193 tweets

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