You guys, there are so many critical issues in today's America, and so few are getting discussed in the debates. For anyone attending tonight's, please feel free to draw from some of my most urgent questions: 1/
To our collective shame, we're all aware this debate is #SoWhite. Which one of you will promise to, once elected, step aside so that a person of color can take your place? And, follow up: Which PoC will you choose: Mike Tyson, Ben Carson, Mr. T, or Justin Trudeau? 2/
America today is so divided, but not nearly enough! When are you going to man up & start turning these boring talking point-laden squabbles into the actual bloodspot Americans demand? How can I know you really support the Green New Deal if you aren't willing to duel over it? 3/
As you know, Americans have a constitutional right to free iPhone upgrades. Yet Republicans are trying to roll back our rights and make us pay our own way! What will you do to ensure these Republicans are locked away in solitary confinement in Colorado's ADX Supermax prison? 4/
If this doesn't work out for you — you know, the whole trying to micromanage everyone's lives from a distant office in D.C. thing — do you think you still might have a chance at getting a real job? 5/
My cousin got dumped by his girlfriend after a buddy of his totally narc'ed on his extracurriculars, if you catch my drift. So, like, what are you going to do for him? It’s hard out here for a pimp, ya feel me? 6/
The Democratic Party is rich with literary talent. May I ask what your favorite piece of prose is — Bernie's rape fantasy from the 70s? Beto's child murder novella? Stacey Abrams' soft-core porn? 7/
I don't know if this is true, but apparently the problem of alligators roaming free in our nation's storm drains is getting totally out of control. When is Washington going to step up and finally form a commission that will spend years and years investigating this urgent crisis?
Today's millennials are well aware that robots are on the rise and are out to steal our jobs. Two questions: Do you believe in robots? (Or are you a denier?) And, a follow up: Will you support robot insurance for our nation's seniors? 9/
I'm concerned about raising my kids in a world of extreme weather events, ZERO net neutrality, and Big Oil running our lives. I've got three boys. How much will you give me for them? 10/
What if I never find true love? How is that fair? Why should others enjoy the emotional ecstasy of everlasting love while I'm stuck in a loveless grind? What is your plan for locating my soulmate? 11/
My friend is this really amazing artist who creates images of the world's best surf spots on carved pieces of wood. They're incredible & inspiring he's def going to become famous. But why should he be allowed to do this when others have no talent at all? 12/
Salon.com reports that 90 percent of the nation's artistic talent is concentrated among just 1 percent of our nation's artists. Will you support my call for a national art ban until this widening art gap is addressed? 12.5/
Am sure you saw the news about the Astros stealing signs during the 2017 playoffs. I'm literally, like, in shock: How was Congress completely asleep at the switch? Jim Crane fired the team's manager and GM. Will you prove your leadership chops & fire at least 3 of your staffers?
Two part question: Who is your favorite Spice Girl? Follow up: Stop being racist. /14
This is more of a statement than a question, but I'm really, really, REALLY afraid of bats. That is all. /15
Anyway, those are the main concerns on my mind right now. Might add more later.
