Thread by @RemakingManhood

Major article coming interweaving extremist masculinity (my new term) women's rights and #MeToo.
"Incels talk about women 'controlling the sexual marketplace,' a language choice which, not unsurprisingly, places human sexual intimacy firmly in the realm of the transactional. /1

This should come as no surprise given our larger dominant man box culture of masculinity which prioritizes roles over relationships and values power created over others vs. power created with others. /2

Man box culture, blocks all boys and men from authentic emotional expression. It suppresses our natural relational capacities, slotting us into a hierarchical pecking order of masculine domination, blocking us from learning to express in emotionally authentic and nuanced ways. /3

We are blocked from doing the trial and error work that is required over the course of years, to grow the relational capacities which are key to forming authentic connections with family members, friends, co-workers and romantic partners. /4

Instead, the cold mechanics of transactions become our model for relating to women. "I'll give you what you want, if you'll give me sex." Thus, bypassing the relational ways of being from which authentic and lasting intimacy, love and sex naturally emerge. /5

Is it any wonder that the utterly transactional frame of hypergamy represents Incel's explanation for women's relationship choices? /6

Because we have been conditioned to think in terms of roles and not relationships, in terms of transactions instead of co-creation, in terms of power over instead of power with, we assume it is how women form relationships as well. /7

Man box love, ya'll. /8

When Incels are not reinforcing the idea of women's ironclad adherence to hypergamy, they are declaring their own physical ugliness or interpersonal limitations, without entertaining even the vaguest notion of how to improve themselves. /9

Meanwhile, by sucking up all of the oxygen in the room, the incessant "me, me, me" of the Incel narrative masculinity extremists seeks to obscure a single moral absolute. One that is central to our most fundamental notions of human rights. /10

Women don't need a reason to say "No." No one does. /11

In a sane society, the right to simply say "no" to any offer of physical intimacy would be afforded to every single living human being. But it is not. /12

And while my goal in this article is to help men explore the wide ranging context that likely informs why women often decline our invitations to be intimate, the simple truth is women don't need a reason to say no. "No" is the reason. /13

The right to say no, to assert our own physical and emotional autonomy, based on nothing more than the choice itself, is the alpha and the omega in any intimate human interaction. /14

Men's failure to hold this truth to be self evident in every single intimate exchange we initiate is the source of women's fully justified rage, fueling the white hot core of the #MeToo movement. /15

Collectively, men have failed. While the right to physical autonomy is one we, without question, presume for ourselves, the vast majority of us remain seemingly indifferent to enforcing that right on behalf of others. /16

Millions of men remain silent, sitting on the sidelines, as women plead with us to take a stand and end domestic violence, sexual assault and rape against women and men, equally. /17

Instead the most abusive voices among us shout out the violent philosophies of masculinity extremists, proof that our larger culture of masculinity is better at making space for ideas of dominance and control then at challenging them. /18

In our collective silence and inaction, men create the cultural container that permits sexual harassment and assault to continue. /19

It can be tempting to think of Incels as outliers and anomalies, but after ten years of speaking and writing on masculinity, it is clear to me that gender extremists like Incels, MRAs and MGTOWs are the canaries in the coal mine of our larger man box culture of masculinity. /20

I would be lying if I said the abusive rationalizations of Incel victimhood aren't a deeply familiar. Their extremist ideas are a dark reflection of the anxiety and fear that all men carry. /21

Because we are all raised in the bullying and violent confines of man box culture, we too hold the seeds of bullying and violent masculinity extremism. /22

--> This is an excerpt from a major new article I'm dropping soon. I don't normally announce articles that are coming, but this one is a watershed piece for me. Looking forward to sharing it. #MasculinityExtremists #ExtremistMasculinity /23

Support Mark Greene's work to grow healthy masculinities. Help someone you care about break out of the man box. Pick up a copy of Remaking Manhood or The Little #MeToo Book for Men. Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble Online. /24

Haha. Just noticed I tweeted "not unsurprisingly."
Well... okay then!

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