Thread by @RobDownenChron

@JJ_Denhollander "OK but I get to take a few moments to myself and try to calculate the best trajectory right?"

"Nah you gotta run full-speed away from the small ass metal thing for 22 seconds straight and then do it."

"yeah that doesn't sound possible."

@JJ_Denhollander "OK fine. But that small ass metal circle only looks really small from here, right?"

"Nah you idiot it's only like slightly bigger than this thing you gotta throw at it LOL"

@JJ_Denhollander "Alright. Sounds silly. But clearly the small metal thing is easily visible?"

"hahahah no you can barely see it from your height. AND the thing keeping it up is see-thru and there's a bunch of Sig Chis standing behind it in T-shirts with your girlfriend's face on them."

"huh."

@JJ_Denhollander "Fine. I pitched in high school baseball so-"

"actually I forgot: you can only only use ur fingers and elbows to throw this."

"alright this is ridic-"

"wait the legs count too. knees are actually crucial to this whole calculation. Also if u step on that line nothing counts."

@JJ_Denhollander "OK fine this is very, very dumb but I'll give it a try."

"Great. Anyways I'm a scout with the Chicago Bulls and we'd like to pay $18 million a year to do this for 16 minutes every three nights. Guaranteed."

"wow that doesn't sound prudent"

"please don't challenge our idiocy."

@JJ_Denhollander (this was the most difficult Tweet I've ever had to Tweet.)

@JJ_Denhollander Oh yeah I forgot the part where the Chicago Bulls realize this person doesn't understand how to do the whole "ball in metal thing" but continue to pay him $18M a year for four years.

Gar Forman should be fired into the sun in a spaceship made only of active bee hives.