I want to piggyback off of this. Because I spent ~6 months talking to Debbie before our story, and was amazed at her strength.
Nothing -- absolutely nothing, bold, hyphened, with a billion asterisks -- could have prepared me for what I saw her do at #CaringWell.
Nothing -- absolutely nothing, bold, hyphened, with a billion asterisks -- could have prepared me for what I saw her do at #CaringWell.
First off: Debbie is one of the kindest people I've ever met. And despite everything she has gone through, she has not once lost her faith in God. Not that that matters, but it's worth saying that she is not a person who wishes ill on the church or anyone in it.
When we wrote our first story, I promised Debbie that I wouldn't even mention her whereabouts. It's been five-plis decades since her abuse, and she is still terrified that her family is unsafe.
Think about that.
Think about that.
Over many, many conversations, Debbie agreed to talk publicly about it again for the first time in a decade.
This is her story, for those who don't know:
This is her story, for those who don't know:
Dale Amyx's church was one of the 10 that @jdgreear said should be scrutinized for their handling of abuse in February. And for a brief moment, Debbie had the closest version of peace she's ever had.
It lasted a few days.
It lasted a few days.
@jdgreear She is in incredibly poor health - partially deaf from (she says) a gun that was fired near her head during one of her attacks as a teenager. And she is terrified.
She has not once stopped fighting for justice.
She has not once stopped fighting for justice.
@jdgreear When Debbie found out #CaringWell was happening, she had someone drive her hours to attend. Ten years after she pleaded Southern Baptists to help her, she decided to show up, in a motorized scooter, days before a doctor appointment for a surgery she may not life thru.
@jdgreear In ways I can't even imagine, her being there was traumatizing. To be surrounded by the very people who've refused her help? I can't even begin to articulate it.
@jdgreear At one point, I asked her about her health, and she told me she didn't think she'd be alive within the next few months.
I told her that she was too stubborn to let that happen, and she laughed.
I told her that she was too stubborn to let that happen, and she laughed.
@jdgreear Then, on the Friday of #CaringWell, after she quietly listened to 8+ hours of people talk about abuse, Debbie approached me while I talked to a pastors who have been very proactive and sympathetic towards abuse survivors.
@jdgreear And it all poured out. Decades of stress, anxiety, shame. Guilt. It all poured out from this woman, who'd paid her way (again) to simply tell her story to anyone who'd listen.
@toddbenkert and @eric_costanzo were there. They listened for an hour and a half.
@toddbenkert and @eric_costanzo were there. They listened for an hour and a half.
@jdgreear @toddbenkert @eric_costanzo They can both tell you how emotional that moment was. I can't even describe it.
But here's what stood out to me: The sense of guilt that Debbie, decades after her abuse, felt. Her shame that she "hadn't done more" to stop others.
But here's what stood out to me: The sense of guilt that Debbie, decades after her abuse, felt. Her shame that she "hadn't done more" to stop others.
@jdgreear @toddbenkert @eric_costanzo And then, after an an hour of letting go, Debbie went back to her room. I helped her back, and tried as best as I could to calm her down.
She said: "I probably only have a few days left, and I want people to know my story. It's the only way we'll stop this."
She said: "I probably only have a few days left, and I want people to know my story. It's the only way we'll stop this."
@jdgreear @toddbenkert @eric_costanzo She sent me an email a day later.
"I hope you are doing well. I read this article “Caring well? Speaker says Baptist Press reported abuse disclosure as a consensual affair." Have you all read this? I find this upsetting as the Baptist Press did this to me as well."
"I hope you are doing well. I read this article “Caring well? Speaker says Baptist Press reported abuse disclosure as a consensual affair." Have you all read this? I find this upsetting as the Baptist Press did this to me as well."
