Thread by @MsMassage1

*Trigger Warning*
Domestic Violence...every time I hear "Why didn't she just leave?" I'm overcome with fear.
I have never publically shared my experience but #HannahClarke is my strength to do it today....

Two decades ago, I was a wife, a Mum & going to the supermarket was dependant on wether my husband decided if I could have grocery money today, wether he'd slashed 1 or all 4 tyres on my car, wether I had 1 or 2 black eyes.
"Leave him" the 1 friend I was allowed would say....

Where would I run too? Financial abuse makes sure you've always got less than half a tank of gas & no cash. Isolation abuse makes sure you have no where or no one to go to. Mental abuse makes sure you believe you're not worthy of even daring to ask for anyone else's help...

And just incase that wasn't enough to hold you hostage, the "I'll kill you in front of the kids if you try that shit" nailed the door shut.
Then the near fatal beating came. I'd left lumps in the mashed potatoes. 3 weeks in hospital. He'd made bail by the time I was discharged.

I knew if I stayed he was going to kill me. I knew if I left he was definitely going to try and kill me. He was angry at being arrested.If he was going to kill me, I was going down fighting.I got whatever of the kids stuff would fit in the car, pawned my wedding ring & we ran...

6 days later, in pitch black darkness, I woke up in bed, to find he'd found our 'safe place'. The knife held to my throat let me know I'd really fucked him off this time!For 4hrs, as my kids slept in another room I was tortured.

I won't go into details of how, or how I got away as a) they are too gruesome & b) he skipped the country a few hours later, before police could find him, but if he re-enters NZ he'll be arrested & finally I get my day in court to see some justice served.

The few close to me, that know my story, say I was brave to leave. Yep, it is brave and any woman that escapes is brave, but what takes even more bravery is those women that stay.They stay because they HAVE to, that is the only available option Today.Tomorrow may be the chance!

If you know someone going through this, please don't say "Just leave", understand they would if they could, they will when they can. Instead support, and let them know they have you in their corner, show through actions that you're OK to trust, don't judge.

Now I've written all this, I'm not sure I can press tweet all....feel a bit bloody exposed...eek.
I am not a victim of Domestic Violence. I am SURVIVOR.
For the record, I've never cooked mashed potatoes ever again, but, I'm sure as shit the 👑 of roast ones now!!

RIL Hannah x

I was bloody nervous when I posted this 24hrs ago, but I thought 'It's OK, it's Sat arvo, no-one will even see it'. Then the likes & RTs started. All I could think was Shit, the Trolls are coming, the Trolls are coming!!!...And they did....

All 2 of them with a total of 61 followers combined...hardly the charge of the light brigade 🐎😛😂
What did come was likes, RTs around the world, & the kindest of the kind comments from you lovely people! Thank you! They were just heartwarming for me to read...

And more importantly, they will have been read by people living in DV right now. Your compassion will have helped them realise there is understanding,not everyone wants to hold you down, people care. You are total bloody legends. Thank you!!.

The most dangerous period of DV is when you leave. There will be women who didn't make their escape this week after the news of Hannah & the childrens murder. Time & time again protection orders are breached, the abuser is arrested, held for 24hrs then bailed to appear next month

And next thing you know...too late. So.Many.Times. I've decided it's time I put thoughts into action & petition for a law change regarding Protection Orders. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, I'll never know until I try.You all gave me the courage to do this!!

Will post up details when I've had the chats with a couple of amazing people who work in areas of DV to get their views & input.
You are all a bunch of bloody good people and from the bottom of my heart, thanks & gratitude 💖

Still not going to cook/eat mashed spuds though😀