At least we know how the alien invasion/environmental apocalypse will play out.
The Chinese will waste the first few weeks denying it while suffering heavy losses, and then regroup spectacularly to defeat the threat by developing an army of indestructible multi purpose robots.
The Chinese will waste the first few weeks denying it while suffering heavy losses, and then regroup spectacularly to defeat the threat by developing an army of indestructible multi purpose robots.
The Koreans and the Japanese will show unrivalled social cohesion and teamwork to contain the threat inside 4 days flat.
The rest of the world will point at them and say in anguished tones "Why can't we do that here?"
"You don't really know what it's like here," they'll insist.
The rest of the world will point at them and say in anguished tones "Why can't we do that here?"
"You don't really know what it's like here," they'll insist.
The Africans for some reason are unaffected, much to their surprise and everybody else's. They post memes about it on Twitter.
They still die of malaria though.
The Italians and the Spanish melt down disastrously. Southern Europeans start glancing hopefully at North Africa.
They still die of malaria though.
The Italians and the Spanish melt down disastrously. Southern Europeans start glancing hopefully at North Africa.
The American president is bodysnatched, and he spearheads the threat as it destroys American civilisation, all the while blaming it on Liberals, immigrants and gays.
Liberals heroically defend the homeland using mean tweets and passive aggressive sighing.
Everybody dies.
Liberals heroically defend the homeland using mean tweets and passive aggressive sighing.
Everybody dies.
The Swiss and Scandinavians stay out of it. Nobody seems to notice them.
North Korea introduce Patriotic Suicide to the constitution. Everyone is ready to die for Kim. Kim is fat.
Vladmir Putin's 300 year-old head in a jar announces it will run for another term as president.
North Korea introduce Patriotic Suicide to the constitution. Everyone is ready to die for Kim. Kim is fat.
Vladmir Putin's 300 year-old head in a jar announces it will run for another term as president.
The Germans still have PTSD. Secret basements and doomsday shelters show up all around the country like they never went away.
Because they didn't.
Now the Africans suddenly start dying. The Greeks, Portuguese etc who made it to Africa gather in a church and wait for death.
Because they didn't.
Now the Africans suddenly start dying. The Greeks, Portuguese etc who made it to Africa gather in a church and wait for death.
The Middle East finally has the brawl it has spent 350 years itching for. The Iranians, Israelis, Saudis, Qataris, Emiratis and Turks enthusiastically murder each other until they work it out of their systems.
Israel and Palestine finally agree on a 2-state solution.
Israel and Palestine finally agree on a 2-state solution.
The British plan is to keep a stiff upper lip. Somehow it works with lots of bravado and huge slices of blind luck.
They award themselves the "Greatest Country The Universe Has Ever Seen" award.
David Beckham presents the medal to the 400 year-old but somehow still alive Queen.
They award themselves the "Greatest Country The Universe Has Ever Seen" award.
David Beckham presents the medal to the 400 year-old but somehow still alive Queen.
After pausing to contain the threat - though nobody is quite sure how they did it - the Indians and Pakistanis resume their war.
Nanedra Modi's head insists that his party's new slogan "All Muslims must be exterminated!" shouldn't be taken literally.
"OK then," says everybody.
Nanedra Modi's head insists that his party's new slogan "All Muslims must be exterminated!" shouldn't be taken literally.
"OK then," says everybody.
Australia is on fire.
New Zealand runs out of resources to support its 57,000 doomsday hideouts. The first of the billionaire civil wars ensues as the Elon Musk head and the Jeff Bezos head team up to fight other billionaires with electromagnetic plasma railguns and anti-competitive practises.
Africa's nation states suffer collective failure. A proposal is raised to create a continental government with regional and local devolution of power.
The government is created.
2 months later, civil war breaks out.
Africa now has 257 nation states and 13 secession struggles.
The government is created.
2 months later, civil war breaks out.
Africa now has 257 nation states and 13 secession struggles.
The UN headquarters moves to Hing Kong.
"Who's your daddy now?" Xi Jinping's head inquires of the seated 400 heads-of-heads of state present.
"You," they unenthusiastically chorus.
"Who's your daddy now?" Xi Jinping's head inquires of the seated 400 heads-of-heads of state present.
"You," they unenthusiastically chorus.
Australia is still on fire.
Argentina asks for a financial bailout.
China hosts the new expanded 96-team football world cup and exits at the group stage.
Germany wins it.
The people in the 10-country African region formerly known as Nigeria *really* dislike each other.
Vigorously assisted death ensues.
China hosts the new expanded 96-team football world cup and exits at the group stage.
Germany wins it.
The people in the 10-country African region formerly known as Nigeria *really* dislike each other.
Vigorously assisted death ensues.
Now the Amazon is on fire too.
Having lost a lot of manpower, China announces immigration reforms designed to attract Caribbean islanders and wealthy Africans to boost its economy.
The previously dormant Chairman Mao head starts an opposition party that promises to send them home.
"China for Chinese people."
The previously dormant Chairman Mao head starts an opposition party that promises to send them home.
"China for Chinese people."
Where are the Canadians?
The French perished en masse, but they had one last glorious orgy while they were at it.
The world speaks of them in hushed, reverent tones.
Angry young men from the newly created Republic of Azania surround the southern African white ethnostate of Orania making crude gestures.
The world speaks of them in hushed, reverent tones.
Angry young men from the newly created Republic of Azania surround the southern African white ethnostate of Orania making crude gestures.
SpaceX conquers quantum technology, making it possible for the Oranians to teleport themselves to friendly territory by repeating three times:
"I'M GOING TO AUSTRALIA! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!"
The technology isn't perfect yet and Australia is still on fire.
So it's a 50-50 thing.
"I'M GOING TO AUSTRALIA! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!"
The technology isn't perfect yet and Australia is still on fire.
So it's a 50-50 thing.
The Mexicans emerge as a dominant power. With no drug trade since the Americans' demise, they successfully pursue technological innovation with cutting edge R&D.
Their only real ambition however, is to win the world cup.
They lose to the Dutch in the 2nd round on penalties.
Their only real ambition however, is to win the world cup.
They lose to the Dutch in the 2nd round on penalties.
Aliko Dangote's head is evicted from New Zealand after losing its billionaire status and subsequently being vanquished in the billionaire civil wars.
Without a government-backed monopoly which New Zealand doesn't offer, he cannot hope to compete with the likes of Musk and Bezos.
Without a government-backed monopoly which New Zealand doesn't offer, he cannot hope to compete with the likes of Musk and Bezos.
