Libraries may be closed at the moment, but that doesn't mean we're idle. So come with me on a virtual library tour, courtesy of stock photography, to see what we do for a living... 
Libraries are of course information resource centres, but in many ways they are so much more. To get the best out of them you need to really know your way around.
The enquiries desk is usually your first stop in a library, and this is where you will meet The Angry Librarian! Why is she angry? Because you keep asking her stupid questions!
"Are you open?"
"Do you have a toilet?"
"That's chair's wobbly!"
"Do you have it in audiobook?"
"Someone else is on the computer and that's not fair!"
On and on it goes...
"Do you have a toilet?"
"That's chair's wobbly!"
"Do you have it in audiobook?"
"Someone else is on the computer and that's not fair!"
On and on it goes...
So that's why in the library we insist on silence. It's the only way to stop us swearing at all the idiotic things you ask us.
Next up is the library assistant sorting through the returns. Library assistants are the serfs of the lending world, which is why they all read Dostoyevsky and wear organic peasant cardigans. Most of their income comes from selling weed...
Then we have the 'wacky' librarian. There's always one, and we normally keep her in the reference section to annoy the students. She's also our first aider, so try not to injure yourself.
Speaking of injuries, the health and safety rules we have to follow are ridiculous! OK we trapped that pensioner in the moving shelves og the stacks but that was four months ago FFS! No pensioners have been decapitated since then. Not one. Nada.
But now we all have to go on a half day course about how to use library steps safely: wear safety glasses, ensure your upper limbs are covered, etc...
We tend to dress informally nowadays in the library...
...and we've finally decided to renovate the local history reading rooms. 'Local', 'History' and 'Reading' are three things people don't seem to enjoy, so were rebranding it as The Room and putting a Nespresso maker in there.
Although were closed at the moment we are still making outbound calls to chase overdue fines. We will find you, and we will give you such a pinch...
So bear a thought for librarians at the current time. We're now stuck indoors surrounded by unread books and people we don't like - in other words lockdown is exactly like being at work. Help!!
#librarytwitter - it's what we do.
#librarytwitter - it's what we do.
