Sooooo.... much does @BreneBrown center on Black women, BIPOC, disabled, LGBTQ?

not opposed to all boundaries per se

BUT am a bit skeptical 🤨 🧐 🤔

in context of #DEI & structural inequity & racism

This can serve as a convenient “opt out” as a part time “ally”
This is a reality for many of us WOC entering spaces defined by white feminists

Am not Black. No one tries to touch my hair. I “pass” in ways that reduces how much I navigate vs get to “be”

When will boundaries of WOC be respected?

(Keep hands to self)…
Is it your boundaries that cause you to quietly, when no one can see or hear, act like this? ✅ “I am a good person” for your own ego

while leaving black woman or BIPOC dealing with all the consequences

plus maybe 😒🤢😡😖😞triggered by flimsy, token support yet again
Some of us cannot reasonably go blonde to align with patriarchy & sexism to mitigate “scary” WOC female power with invoking “young” and “daughter” feelings from decision makers and power brokers. Tho Asian & South Asian can be seen as “young” or “docile”…
Black women in particular have centuries of negative stereotyping that extends into today’s media

Defined as NOT delicate, fragile, vulnerable, valued, cherished, trusted, or invoking empathy

Being defined by others is NOT about own boundaries at all

admit I had to have this spelled out for me about perpetuation of racist feminism evident in Wonder Woman movie

As much as I try to be educated and an ally, I am still unlearning the toxic forms of feminism, internalized racism, to be intersectional…
This 🧵 is critical to read

This tweet is one that really resonated with my mom (she reads everything I post on LinkedIn and we often discuss - like this that I posted there to cross pollinate)

Over the years we’ve been making progress together in being anti-racist (Mom & me)
A short 🧵 on empathy and it’s failures. Please read @paulbloomatyale for details on dangers of #empathy and when it even makes us immoral. Empathy is the danger of the single story, is centered on own feelings, limited by own capacity or “boundaries”, and lacks standards/ethics.
Empathy is often an exercise in hubris too

How much has sorrow *really* carved you for you to have the capacity to be filled by or feel others’ sorrow?

You are not the measure of all things. You do not get to define or label others

Your boundaries = admitting that lack
Did you feel offended or shame at word “lack”? Then you know what to work on. Cuz why WOULD you have everything all by yourself?

As @NatsforDocs points out, a phrase I love too, “it takes a village.” Boundaries protect your own energy, time, emotion

So collaborate to cover gaps
Aspects of @BreneBrown’s advice have merit but little applies to me or to getting results

If people want results, emulate the women delivering results like @staceyabrams @KamalaHarris - black (& brown women)
#BlackGirlMagic #BlackExcellence #blackqueen…
We have to center black ppl, follow lead of #blackexcellence authentically (not token)

All else is stagnation & status quo

Dismantle structures
Remove walls/boundaries
Tolerate BIPOC expanding

Your personal boundaries you maintain via own behavior? 👍🏾…

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More from @usnehal

1 Feb
If you want to understand a woman, look at her mother - at least true of me

My mom? As a new immigrant to America, when she encountered an unfair Eurocentric rule from her English Lit grad program? She wrote a paper & got the rule changed

Owned her power
My mom and I are the same in core values but opposite externally. She uses maybe 1/100th of the words that I do and is intensely private. I am out climbing literal mountains while she prefers to stay in and read books and my dad’s #engineering journals.

My mom is an introvert who thinks 10x before speaking w/ surgical precision, educated by German nuns & British educational system
We are Urdu-speaking

She is fearless in face of patriarchy

It runs in the family. Have strong, activist #womeninleadership role models in #Pakistan ImageImageImageImage
Read 25 tweets
1 Feb
Have ~ quarter million followers on #LinkedIn & use that space to speak truth to power. Use the power of my voice including on sexual harassment vs women.

In one #healthcare setting, the board hired marketers to cyberstalk employees. Creepy. #MedTwitter…
My current institution & my alma mater have taken money from #Epstein. #Science & #academia is full of creepy types in positions of power.

It is shocking those who woo a human trafficker donor also cross the line, hire ppl to #cyberstalk own staff? #MedTwitter #AcademicTwitter
When will we start to listen to the students paying substantial tuition?

Why do students have a superior understanding of #ethics and #traumainformed #education as compared to administrators who earn millions between salary & consulting gigs?…
Read 5 tweets
31 Jan
Keep in mind the phrase “shattering” the glass ceiling is a violent phrase associated with riots or “anti-social” activities. #womeninleadership conferences or books don’t prepare you for reality of how perceived/treated when “smashing” the patriarchy, especially as a WOC.
There are two ways past the barrier: 1-align with/serve patriarchy and have the door opened.
= mere optics of change while perpetuating status quo & structural inequity
2-shatter it the glass ceiling. The latter will cause you to be a threat to the system & leadership
On rare occasions, the person opening the door past the barrier is truly seeking progress at scale rather than tokenizing you.

More often than not, your role when on the other side is to be token and sign off on perpetuation of inequity while providing the right look/optics.
Read 21 tweets
31 Jan
It pains me to say this, it seems like this can never be a true statement...


I think I have too much dessert.

This was delivered to my building lobby today.
I still have half of this tiramisu.
Anyone who guesses what the occasion is within 3 tries gets a slice delivered to them, socially distanced

(Am that confident you can’t guess LOL - it’s a bit if a gag gift but I mean a lot of ppl did say “congrats” on this happening)
Read 5 tweets
31 Jan
The thing with people who are unethical, lack standards, rely on intimidation or manipulation, manufacture facts, etc...

...when they are in a position of power, yes, have to navigate carefully

..but once they are out of that job?

Let facts speak for selves.
Fauci is wise.
If an ethics violation, there is no need to trade screenshots in Twitter court for vigilante justice

Report the ethics violation. Like is happening after the #insurrection

Raising awareness to allow others to come forward, *is* useful tho…
If a legislator elected by a party or affiliated with a party, can take more risks in some ways. Your constituents often want to see action.

An appointed official like Fauci wants to keep his position across administrations: better to choose discretion and/or wordsmithing.
Read 11 tweets
30 Jan
This 👇🏾👇🏻👇🏿

Abuse is towards many groups:
Children, elderly, disabled, neurodiverse, pregnant, women, LGBTQ, those on visas, employees, students/trainees, etc

It has been my job for ~15 years to spot it & be mandated reporter. We all must stay alert
Listen. Observe. Question.
Most people are too
goal oriented
self absorbed

to see what is in plain sight
Also, many who do see are afraid to speak up. Be the “Cassandra”

“A lot of clinicians have been treated like Cassandra where we get disregarded or sidelined..” -me…
Rest of quote:

“..treated like Cassandra where we get disregarded or sidelined, but our concerns about safety have turned out to be true,” Nehal, the Boston-based pediatrician, added. “There’s no joy in being right. I’d rather see good results that put patient safety first.”
Read 4 tweets

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