Thread by @DrNerdLove

Here’s something that’s come up recently on my site & I’ve noticed it elsewhere: the idea that being smart means you don’t have to be kind.

2/ The basic premise seems to be that being intelligent to any degree gives you license to be a complete asshole because… well, because.

3/ This is something that’s reinforced over and over again in pop culture. Rick Sanchez. Sherlock. Dr. House. ALL of The Big Bang Theory.

3a/ Shit, there’s a TVTrope listing about it specifically: tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.…

4/ Honestly, I kind of have to reach back to the 80s and Real Genius to find a brainiac who isn’t a complete *dick*.

5/ Part of it, I get, is the intellectual equivalent of @PeterDavid_PAD’s “Quicksilver stuck in the slow lane” argument for being a dick.

6/ “My being forced to deal with people who can’t keep up with me is like being stuck in line at the cashier w/ someone using a check” etc

7/ But honestly, I think part of it is the same sort of mindset that tells people that logic is superior above all.

8/ It makes for a lovely intellectual masturbation about how “I am not good at people skills but I am smart and that should be rewarded.”

/9 You may notice that this mindset tends to coincide with “Well in a PURE meritocracy I’d rule you plebs!”

/10 It’s akin to Intellectual Objectivism. They are the smartest therefor they should be seen as superior and given deference in all things.

11/ Sort of like the “Come, let us REASON TOGETHER” logicbros who want to explain why it’s just science that women can’t code.

12/ Problem is that all it really is is just an excuse to have a tantrum over “WELL IF I WROTE THE RULES I’D WIN!!”

13/ It’s easy to pretend that the reason why you’re being held back is you’re too smart and nobody understands that you’re right, dammit

14/ And THAT mentality is why I need a macro that can auto-post this scene:

14/ Intellect is nice, but it’s not useful when you drive people away. Dr. House only has a job because TV tropes demand it.

15/ Logic is great, but logic isn’t persuasive in and of itself. Nor is it strictly logical. If you can’t CONNECT with people, you fail.

16/ This is why you see people complain “well, I’m more skilled therefore *I* should have gotten X”

Nobody wants to work w/ assholes bro.

17/ It’s great that you’re skilled. Can you communicate? Can you motivate others? Can you empathize and understand people?

18/ Yeah, those are necessary skills. If you want your app to be usable by the public and succeed in the market? It needs to be intuitive.

19/ If you can’t connect with people and understand their view (or translate it for folks who don’t) there will be a fundamental disconnect.

20/ If you can’t empathize with people, you can’t understand them or motivate them to do better. You can’t fix what you can’t see.

21/ If you can’t understand WHY someone feels a certain way, you can’t change their mind when you need to. Persuasion !=logic.

22/ And then there’s the obvious “social skills gets you laid” angle. Even *Spock* knew how to spit game:

23/ The other thing about “I am smart therefore I can be an asshole”: you believe everyone else plays by the same rules.

24/ This comes up over and over again in my clients w/ dudes who think dating is about equities exchanges and don’t get why they’re single.

25/ “All relationships are manipulation,” “All interactions are dominance games,” “Women test you because logically they want the most fit.”

26/ No, no and also fuck off. I refer you back to the Social Network video I posted.

27/ Social skills are a skill. Emotional intelligence is *intelligence*. Kindness and compassion get people to *like* you more.

28/ So, basic logic. People do things for folks they like. You want things from people. Ergo: it’s smart to be likable.

29/ (Not to mention, kindness and compassion are valued traits in sex and dating: doctornerdlove.com/the-science-of…)

30/ So, TL;DR: you may be smart but nobody wants to hang with the dickhead. Nobody REALLY likes the smug, snarky asshole.

31/ Folks only like the smug asshole as long as he’s pointed at someone else. But they know it’s only a matter of time til he’s aimed @ them

32/ Want social success? Learn how to connect. Learn compassion. Learn how to be kind *AND* smart.

Watch how quickly people flock to you.

33/ fin