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The Batman Gambit. A literary device used in which a character plans around his opponent doing exactly what they’re expected to do.
If you need further details, look it up on tvtropes, but be warned, that website may steal several hours of your life. Fair warning.
Batman, the billionaire philanthropist playboy who secretly worked to save his city Gotham, was known for these plans.
A Batman Gambit requires extraordinary levels of intel, research, and planning to pull off. Dumb people fall for them, not plan them.
Enter GEOTUS President Donald J Trump, First of His Name, Lord Protector of the Shitposters, and President of the USA.
Also, a billionaire philanthropist playboy, currently married to real world Catwoman Melania Trump, with his own set of Robins.
Trump is, suffice it to say, a master of the Batman Gambit. In fact, it seems to be his preferred method of destroying his opponents.
Exhibit A, Representative Frederica Wilson, failed rodeo clown and otherwise indistinguishable from Maxine Waters
The Democrats after a stunning series of embarrassments attempt their own version of the Batman Gambit
And have Frederica Wilson wait like a vulture near the family of a dead soldier until she overhears Trump’s phone call.
Leave it to the Dems, if there’s one thing you can’t plan for, its how low they will go.
Turning what was a condolence call for a fallen hero into a scandal, the world scratched its head as Trump kept fighting back.
Because as low as Dems will go, there is one thing they will ALWAYS do: say something horrendously stupid on camera given enough camera time
And so, Trump took this ambush, and repaid it tenfold with a perfectly executed Batman Gambit using General Alfred
Sorry, I meant Chief of Staff General Kelly
General Kelly gives a heartfelt speech which brought me personally to manly tears and should shame all of us
In it, he launched a personal shot across the brim of one of Frederica ‘900 hats with taxpayer money’ Wilson’s many hats
This of course sent the liberal media scurrying after her to respond the General Kelly’s mic drop moment.
Her response to his accusations of her being a ghoulish embarrassment to American society and politicizing a hero’s death?
“I’M A ROCK STAR!” washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/w…
Thus bringing an end to the fallen special forces soldier condolence call why the fuck is this even an issue scandal.
Haven’t heard much from Frederica “Goddamnit how long am I going to have to sit in a limo with this crying widow” Wilson since.
Exhibit B) The NFL, in which the ESPN decided “we need to stir up ratings quick lets watch Kaepernick make an ass of himself!”
Except Kaepernick was absolutely awful at negotiation (should have read Art of the Deal) and wasn’t on a team.
So, a bunch more players start miraculously kneeling! Because Trump! And police brutality! And things!
See, apparently somewhere between the two towers falling and 2 decades of endless warfare, patriotism took a nap
And so, suddenly, the leftist collective decided it would try to put the final nail in the coffin of patriotism
The plan? Get a bunch of ex-cons and soon to be felons to kneel during the anthem for reasons and causes and things
Well, this could not stand. And so, BatTrump took to his Batphone and used BatGuanoer to fire off a series of tweets
Here’s a collection of one of the multi-day broadsides that occurred as Battleship Trump tore through the Goodell Navy.
Now, what is the expected response? Why, don’t you know the rules of liberals? They always double down. ALWAYS.
And so the NFL doubled down. More players knelt. Entire teams knelt. Exactly. As. Planned.
Now you have owners in open revolt against Goodell si.com/nfl/2017/10/29…
The advertisers are throwing a fit usatoday.com/story/money/fo…
The Batman Gambit? By calling out the NFL and its players, Trump knew that they would double down and escalate.
Why target the NFL? Football, an American tradition, was being rocked by scandal after scandal, arrest after arrest. It needed cleaning.
ranker.com/list/13-most-s… I made an excellent Halloween costume the year of the Brett Favre one.
Yes, it was a Brett Favre jersey, a long line of black tape over my crotch, and I was wearing crocs. I was quite proud of it.
Oh, and ESPN was becoming inundated with blatant political messaging. Call it 2 birds one stone. breitbart.com/sports/2017/10…
The result?
As you look back on the past 2 years, I’m sure you too can come up with many such Batman Gambits BatTrump has pulled off
The three main aspects of the Batman Gambit: An opponent with a predictable reaction, the wind up, then the grand slam.
And with each career-destroying grand slam, President Trump edges closer into the annals of history
As one of the most brilliant, cunning, hilarious Presidents of all time.
And now, to tag in people I promised to tag in and the conservative twitter intelligentsia who I leech off of for followers.
/End
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