1/ Welcome to Tuesday in the independent republic of Brexitlandia
2/ Overnight Parliament debated the ever pointless, confused and legally flawed Withdrawal Bill 😴
3/ All the talk of taking back control to have accountable democracy and decisions made closer to home was voted down by Government at the first opportunity 👎
4/ That is for another day they argued. A bit like all the difficult decisions on Brexit. Meanwhile Brexit Day in March 2019 remains steadfast 😱
5/ Meanwhile house builders asked for a Brexit dispensation amp.theguardian.com/business/2017/… 😘
6/ They have joined a waiting list behind Northern Ireland, Scotland, Gibraltar, London, most big cities in the U.K., Cornwall, Grimsby, UKIP MEPs in terms of their pensions, the NHS, banks, hospitality, academia, science...
7/ pharma, automotive, all industry apart from Dyson (based in Asia) and Wetherspoons (where you go when all hope in your life has gone), most MPs (if their bollocks grow back), you, me, our kids😇
8/ intuitively that would suggest Brexit is not the land of 🦄 but a MASSIVE FUCKING FARCE 🤡🤡🤡
9/ Still we have learned that the Maybot's redlines are mere doodles on her Lancaster House speech ✍️
10/ The ECJ could have a role if we stay part of EASA as Government wants to do. So not unfathomably objectionable after all 😀
11/ The Maybot is willing to offer a degree of regulatory alignment (wonk (or wank) speak for staying in the SM and CU) for the UK to resolve N Ireland. So it turns out half in half out is what she meant in her Lancaster House speech 🤖
12/ and the disinterested man in the Wetherspoons pub may wonder if that is going to happen should we not have a say in those rules? After all it would be quite silly for taking back control to turn the UK into a regulatory doormat 🃏
13/ Given the keenness for the Maybot to do a deal (and remember Cretinus Maximus was only allowed to travel by plane to Brussels yesterday so he could see the big picture from a window seat) yesterday might indicate there is a degree of panic about what 2018 may bring. ⚰️
14/ Meanwhile the main opposition MPs in the UK watch the horror show unfold (ignoring their duty to act in the national interest) greedily rubbing their paws in anticipation of power of said doormat 🙊🙉🙈
15/ Meanwhile all those who voted remain need to have a long hard look at themselves for not preventing all this from happening in the first place. 🤢
16/Meanwhile I would imagine most leavers are asking what is going on. Apart from the Sith Lord @SteveBakerHW and the Vulcan @johnredwood very few would have thought this chaos is what they were voting for 😟
17/ Meanwhile @RuthDavidsonMSP has helpfully chipped in with a view that there should be regulatory alignment for the entire UK. It is almost as if there is a neat solution that would attract a majority consensus 🙏
18/ In all the confusion, the Government also wished to make clear that they could not reach a deal b/c there is still no agreement on citizen's rights despite that being the Maybot's "number 1 priority". Some may think that clarification to be a failing 😫
19/ Luckily Cretinus Maximum (@DavidDavisMP ) will be answering an UQ (unless he sends in Cretinus Minimums (@WalkerWorcester) or the Sith Lord (@SteveBakerHW)) to bat like he did last week. 🏏
20/ It is almost a week ago that we had an UQ along the lines of "what the actual fuck"? I imagine today's will be similar 🤦♂️
21/ No doubt the reply will be along the lines "it was never the case that we wanted to reach a deal yesterday along the lines of the deal we had provisionally agreed yesterday morning but then realised it meant giving up another redline" 🤣
22/ Well Cretinus Maximus says the idea is to have regulatory alignment across the whole UK. Which is funny because that was not what the Government was proposing yesterday 🤥
23/ And it is confusing because Cretinus Maximus seems to be saying he wants the same outcomes as the EU has on regulations but we must be free to get there in our own way. Unfortunately for the EU the worry is that when the UK exports a 🐔there is a worry that it is really a 🐀
23/ Cretinus Maximus said everyone knew leaving the EU means leaving SM & CU even though (1) the referendum is not binding & (2) no-one can point to a single official document as to what leaving means & (3) Gov blurred lines around NI 🤥
24/ Finally @Keir_Starmer decided acted in the national interest was quite important and he did not want to be in power of a regulatory doormat so pushed for SM and CU to be kept on the table 🆘
24/ Shame they did not vote this way when it mattered 😬
25/ I see Labour has clarified their position which is the same as the Tories -they both want the benefit of SM and CU but please don't use the word "EU" in front of it 😉
26/ Some MPs have now been given sight of the Brexit Impact Assessments and are not impressed. It looks like a swift cut and paste job via Google and whatever was on the EU's website 😂. Thread number 27 will summarise them
27/ Brexit will be shit for all sectors of the economy apart from hedge funds
28/ Some may wonder what the department for executing the UK @DExEUgov has actually been doing at vast tax payer expense and if the information was scrapped together from internet searches what makes it confidential 🧐
29/ That combined with Government Brexit policy being as robust as a piece of grass in a 🌪️suggests this Brexit caper is not going well (apart from for currency speculators) and some even wonder if it all comes from not having any sort of plan in the first place 🙄
30/ meanwhile the Brexit ultras are going ever more 🦇💩. Owen Paterson believes you can sort the Irish issue with goodwill and technology ignoring that the UK has pissed goodwill up the wall since June 2016 and the currrent pre ref customs system won't be ready for Brexit 🤔
31/ IDS tells the EU to jolly back off or or or or or or else. Harrumph. This Irish problem was not an issue before. No Ian cos you ignored the 🐘in the room you 🦃
32/ Charlie Elphicke has had a fully Brexit lobotomy and can only chant "border control". No doubt as MP for Dover he will be well placed to see the tailbacks assuming his house is not CPO'd to be a lorry park 🚛
33/ John Redwood ....oh who cares what he actually said when you know he is telling his investors to do the opposite 🐍
34/ Remarkably Michael Murdoch 🐩 Gove and BOJO 🤡 are keeping their heads down. Those who saw their faces on the day after the referendum will know they know they let things get a tad out of hand 👏👏👏
35/ Cretinus Maximus curses the day he said democracy means you can change your mind and the day he said FOI were a good thing. 🤣🤣🤣
36/ and finally there are unconfirmed reports that the Maybot is applying to be given indefinite leave to remain at home as a citizen of nowhere 👊
