If a bitch ever tell you that she's pregnant for you, block that feminist ass, change phone number and vacate your hood.
THREAD!!!
THREAD!!!
So, there's this chic I hooked up for sieks. That was 2yrs ago. She was a wild one. Let's call her WILDIE (not her real name). I was in it for the thrill.
She was wild to the extent that we'd bang in building corridors in town, in lifts, anywhere...
There's one time we even spent 24hrs in Central Police station cells after being busted by some stupid watchmen😏
That's how wild she was. I'd eat that coochie any time, any day I wished, including in her momma's crib.
She was a spoilt kid, hailing from one of the leafy surbabs across town. All her pals were coolkids and broke coolkid-wannabes.
For her and squad, every weekend was a party. They're either in Ronga, Juja, Karen or Westy. I never attended none of those damn house parties thou.
I wasn't part of that máfcukin clique. We met in some joint along Moi Ave. A gaming joint, where most of the clique used to frequent for movies & trap shit.
Long story short, we were simply FWBs. She was addicted to sieks, and to my benefit, she wasn't mean. She'd let me hit that coochie proper.
Kawaida, when it started we had some ground rules. 'No hittin outside, as long as we was hittin it with each other.' Most bitches like makin this clear, so as to tame the boy child.
What they don't know is that the boy child is very faithful. He flirts around yes, but if nigga means shit, he does.
Being the faithful guy I've always been, I ignored all the other cookies and stuck to my crazy ever horny Wildie. That P was insatiable my frens.
Leave this slay-queen, feminist mentality... An insatiable P is an insatiable P. Even if you feed it with donkey meat, it's all vanity!!!
So there's this Sato, i was chillin in my cave, bored n shit. I hallad, n female was at work. She was to exit at 8pm.
I missed her, and therefore she was to pull over instead of heading 'home' as she had earlier explained was her plan for the night. It was on a Saturday.
Boy child started freshening up n shit, D started chargin up and in a few she was there. The night was lit af! Her twerk game was on anaa level.
Girl had game, damn!
The following morning was a Sunday. She had to go to work and so I made breakfast.
As she hit the bathroom, I noticed she had an extra panty to change into. We hadn't planned the previous night that she would come over, but she was fcukn equipped already.
I dunno if it's just me, but if your bitch carries an extra panty in her bag whenever she leaves home, bruh you're diggin a hoe.
I dint question her, I was lowkey af abt it.
She dressed up, and left for work. Btw to be honest, if your boy-child instincts tell you shit, don't you dare ignore that shit bruh!😁
Boy-child instincts are always right, bank that...
I went to church, and later went to chill in some joint in Ngara.
Their wi-fi was dope, and Zuku having not properly penetrated the market by then, the hotel lounge was the perfect cyber space.
16:20something hrs: Wildie called asking where I was at. She was a nag btw. Bitch had started developin feelings.
In a way, my instincts told me things weren't ayt. Tbh, I can't explain that shit. I just felt uneasy mahn. Na si umama, baff!
So I lied that I wasn't around, and she said, "Ayt, cool." There was no more chats that night. Her last text was at 18:00hrs.
At around 22:00hrs, I was tempted to text her, but I refrained.
The night passed and Monday morning came. Still no text from her, n none from me either. Bitch had
either switched off her phone, and I was glad I hadn't texted.
You see, these bitches are so predictable. When shit's goin down, she'll either switch off her phone, or never pick it up and text you the following day that
She dozed off, or pick up and tell you that she can't talk at the moment, she's at her parents', aunties etc. Same old crap🚮🚮
So, I got consumed at work and only remembered shit about her at 17:00hrs when she texted. I love Mondays cause they're always busy days.
"Ssup bae, where u?" I dint respond. I had checked out of work, but was still hangin around the work place.
One thing about FWBs, the moment she starts callin you BAE, nigga start parking. Shit's about to get ugly. Y'all know what they do...
They start catchin feelings, start gettin emotional n shit, will always frown cause shit ain't mutual, will start stalkin u all over, starts tellin all her friends about u,
wants u to meet her fam n vice versa... So much shit mahn. Stay woke boy child!!!
My hustle by then was around UON and me havin had some friends over there, I went to the hostel to check on em.
We chilled for kendo 30mins. I then left to pick my laptop from work so that I'd head home.
As I exited the Mamlaka gate... Shit!!! There was our Wildie infront of me. I thought I was losin it, until I confirmed with the clads she was in on sato. SAME SHIT. It was her!!!
😁😁😁😁😁😁
Some nigga was carryin her handbag, givin the bitch a push via Arboretum Drive. Her hood wasn't far from there. We had walked to her momma's once😏
In fact it was twice, the second time being the one I was fingerin her in her momma's living room as her momma prepated supper for us in the kitchen😏😏
Bitch had turned me into something else😏 Please God forgive me, that was total rot. Bitch was ever horny, she'd have fcuked an innocent donkey feedin by the roadside if her devils kicked in.
Shit, when I saw her leaving the hostels my hair literally stood mahn. So bitch wanted to confirm my location so she could exit in peace?!! Fcuk that shit mahn!
"Why tf u askin?" was my response to her text. I guess she dint see the text or she assumed, or maybe the nigga's company as they discussed how the sieks was, completely mesmerised her...
Bet she had sensed a change in the tone in my text. How humans decifer such shit should be researched on.
I played lowkey all along. 20:00hrs was when the bitch called. I dint pick up. Some of y'all will call this feelings, but fcuk u too. Fcuk u again!!!
There's nothin as dangerous as a nigga played. Dawg will remain lowkey, but deep inside an atomic bomb be burstin. Better keep off their lanes at such times😏
"Where have u been?" I texted. Btw I don't talk when mad. I hate sayin shit you'll live hatin yourself for.
She's an FWB I know, but bitch broke the rules. Bitches be lowkey hoes. Call em household hoes. You'll fcuk em for 'free', but you ain't the only nigga dickin em.
"Was at home all day. You okay bae?" Fcuk!!! This bitch know who she messin with?😬
I laid low thou, but since bitch had started developin feelings, she dint want me to end the arrangement even after breachin our agreement.
A week later of back n forths, I missed her coochie. Shit mahn, that's the problem of hittin a pro!😬😁😁
Two Ds in a weekend, yet nigga still missed her. That's witchcraft!!! Btw... Dear wife if you're readin this and have never hit more than two different Ds in a day, go drying bitch!!! I don't want a pretender for a wife!
Apart from her stupid feelings, she missed my D too. But I had to lead her into a confession first...
"I really regret everythin bae. It was my friend's boyfriend's birthday and so she wanted me to tag along"😬😬😬
This bitch had her friend call me and give me the same stupid boyfie's birthday lie. I blocked that number at that same instance. The fcukn lie dint work - it couldn't have anyway😁😁
These bitches all be attendin the same cheatin school. Ain't no creativity in between their ears. Eventually u gon burst their bubble😬🚮🚮
"Okay, it was just a quickie. Nigga wasn't even good. We used a cd thou." Wanna have a nigga killed? Have his bitch confess!!!
I remember that nigga till this day. He was Borana kinda - these lightkin Somali fags. He's from Nax. Btw any bitch who's had a somali lad dick em, may y'all diarrhoea tonight and die!!!
Her game fooled me thou. I tapped that shit again - this time with all the anger I'd master. I just had to release that energy!
Another week passed, only for me to realize bitch had started to force herself on my sis.
I came to learn later that bitch had stolen my mom's phone number from my sissy's phone😬 The fcukin slay-queen had no manners! I blame it on her momma.
Visited her home with Wildie severally, and tf I felt like I'd cousel them both😁 Her momma had even started liking me. I'd bang her daughter when she was still around, and she had no problem!!!
Single mommas are PROBLEMS!!! They have the mulla, yes, but is problem! I repeat, is problem!
What made me not want NOTHIN to do with this slay queen was when she came to my crib with sis, n they wanted to cook chapos n beef stew for supper
Bitch didn't know how to cook chapos. She made formless shit, and when they switched roles, her chapos got burnt! SHE WAS ALWAYS ON THE PHONE, like I expected anythin different from a slay-queen😑🚮🚮
Sis being a genius, suggested that she prepares the chapos and Wildie preps the stew. She agreed.
The chapos were okay (not cause it's sis who prepped them, but because momma taught us how to cook).
So she joined my bruh & I in the balcony as Wildie was in the kitchen preppin the stew. The chapo aroma aggravated the hunger...
As our storos got lit, the kitchen was literally gettin lit. Fcuk I entered the house cause shit was roasting😬😁
It was supposed to be stew, but fcuk that shit, it was roasting!!!
Ain't exaggerating shit, but the food was fcukn roasting😬 The sufuria took a week of soaking to get all the stains out.
It was quits from that fcukin night. I no longer wanted shit to do with the bitch.
I dint take supper. I was frustrated. I was loathing on the inside. The way she packec up and stepped out the followin day, I never let her back!!! That was just the beginning. More shit was coming my way...
I went silent on her. All the one-night stands, all the sieks escapades in town just gone like that. When a nigga is pissed off, it's fcukin hard to 'unpiss' him
One thing bitches always fail to understand is that, if a nigga is into you for sieks, even if you've got the most bomb-ass coochie in the world, that dawg will never love you. Let that shit sink in.
Fast forward of a milli unanswered texts and ignored calls:
A month later, "Hey, I missed my periods." Y'all familiar with that fcukin crap, ayt?😂😂😂😂
A month later, "Hey, I missed my periods." Y'all familiar with that fcukin crap, ayt?😂😂😂😂
TO BE CONTINUED VERY SOON...
