Thread by @JSchanzer

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the region
Not a creature was stirring, except Iran’s foreign legion;
The rockets were placed throughout Syria with care,
In hopes that Qassem Suleimani soon would be there;

The weapons were nestled all snug in their places,
While visions of war with Israel put smiles on their faces;
As Assad’s barrel bombs go boom with a terrible clap,
The world community takes a long winter's nap,

Across the region there arose such a clatter,
Yet nobody bothers to see what’s the matter.
From one fight to another Iran’s proxies would clash,
Yet nobody responds unless it is da’esh.
The refugees shiver amidst new-fallen snow
Yet Iran’s land bridge continued to grow.

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Qassem Suleimani from the Republic of Fear.
With his IRGC guards, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that prick.
To fight for Khamenei one by one they all came,
He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Hezbollah! now, Hamas! now, Shiite militias!
Those Iran Air and Mahan air routes are so damn suspicious!
To the top of the Golan! to the top of the wall!
Now bombs away! Bombs away! Bombs away all!"

Up through Iraq, Qassem came with a bound.
Wherever he went, Iran would gain ground.
He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot;
Deadly weapons he brings in his sack,
He’s a peddler of death, remorse he does lack.

His eyes -- how they twinkle! his smile how sly!
He takes selfies with fighters, and he knows they will die
The Suleimani death toll continues to grow,
Just like his beard is as white as the snow;

Despite what Rouhani and Zarif have consistently said,
The entire Middle East has something terrible to dread;
Progress likely continues on material that’s fissile,
All to be miniaturized on the head of a missile.

But what’s there to do? Iran is now moderate, right?
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!