I think I'm going to spend a lot of time telling foreign investors about what things are REALLY LIKE
Tattered infrastructure. Potholes, mad traffic jams. Erratic water supply. Ambiguous road signage. Garbage issues.
Red tape. Need to launch a product? You will wait months for the standards authority to certify your products. That is IF they have a documented standard for the product you intend to launch.
Woe unto you if you use primary industrial packaging made out of plastic. You will have to apply for permission to use plastic packaging material. You will wait for weeks or even months for this approval.
As the end user of the primary packaging material, prepare to have these packets brought back to you for recycling. You WILL be held liable for any packaging material found littered, discarded, or dumped. It will be your job to police your customers to avoid a fine.
Then there are our tax and tariff structures on inputs. One day your products will suddenly be declared as VATable. A few months later they will be exempt. Prepare for paperwork.
If you use imported inputs be prepared for delays at the port. Also allow for sudden changes in import tariffs. Don't even get me started on sudden surprise changes in fuel and electricity costs. These will be Gazetted to give them an air of legitimacy.
Plan to employ lots of local workers? Read about Labour unrest and strike action in Kenya. You will be amazed. Compare this with the labour environment in Ethiopia for example.
Quality control. We have foreign fast food franchises in Kenya. Some of them import potatoes from Egypt. Lake fish and Seafood comes from as far away as China. Inspires lots of confidence in the quality of local supplies.
Planning to export your products? Expect no help from GoK unless you are special enough to have a facility within an EPZ. Good luck competing on the world stage against heavily subsidized foreign players. You are on your own.
Will your factory use lots of electricity? Plan to install massive power generation equipment. We still have horrendously unreliable mains power supply. Especially when it rains.
Have they told you about our shiny new rail service? Be aware that it doesn't synchronise with arrivals and departures of cargo ships from our main port. Don't be surprised if you miss your departing vessel altogether. Poor planning is Kenya's hallmark.
Many of our govt officials are on Twitter and other social media. If you complain to them you will be ignored. This is because social media is only used for self aggrandizement and political campaigns.
The same govt officials who invite you to invest will be the ones who will hold up traffic so as to allow their fancy motorcades to pass. This can take hours. Enjoy.
Plan to invest in a wildlife lodge? Read about the recent events in Laikipia. Past injustices plus alleged political interference plus drought and climate change will put your investment (and lives) at risk.
Planning to build a mall or shopping centre? Come and see the actual rate of uptake of retail space. Shiny and nice malls where the public will come to take selfies but not buy anything. Truly sustainable. Come see for yourself.
Planning to invest in broadcast media? Unless you're planning to show kids cartoons 24x7 you will probably be subjected to censorship, watershed requirements, and the risk of switch-off.
Planning to invest in land, construction of property etc? Land values are starting to stabilize. Many analysts predict that the bubble will burst soon. Come see the To Let signs and empty apartment buildings.
Condoms are free. Sanitary pads and tampons are taxed. Medicines are taxed. TEXTBOOKS ARE TAXED.
