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Kaia Sønderby @KaiaSonderby
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Starting a new thread for chapter three of Autism Uncensored. This will be the last one for the night, lest I lose my will to live. (Also why is this book so friggin' long?)

Ironic Gestation starts thus:

We plan, God laughs. -- Yiddish Proverb

My autistic Jewish self is not amused. #HellMother
"From the moment of my birth I was destined for adulthood."


Well yeah, what do you think people are destined for? Goathood? #HellMother
Okay, I'm mostly going to try to comment purely on the things having to do with autism but I had to share this bit where she talks about lecturing other kids on academics, eschewing parties and hanging out with others.

Instead she focused on he grades and getting into college
and how much she coveted becoming an adult and...she is literally That Girl from That YA Paranormal Romance, if you know what I mean.

I want to just ignore all this autobiographical shit because I have no fucks to give, but I seriously can't get over how bad a case of Not Like Other Girls-ism she has.

Her commentary on how she just doesn't understand parties and getting drunk is like a flashback to YA novels.
What I'm getting from this description of herself is that she's a woman who accepts only perfection to the point of harm.

She was always going to abuse her son because her very nature was one that could not accept that he didn't achieve her definition of perfect. #HellMother
"To the extend that I considered it at all, the term "disabled" always triggered within me an automatic response--the disabled were models of extraordinary courage, but also, inescapably, objects of pity." #HellMother
"To be disabled is to be jilted of the full range of human experience; I could never find any way around that conclusion."


You took a job defending disabled rights when you, by your own admission, felt no connection to your clients, felt no passion for the field. #HellMother
All you cared about was your vaunted adulthood and your pantomime martyrdom! You wanted to look like someone who cared, but you didn't!

Someone else should have had that job! Someone who gave a shit! #HellMother
Someone who realized that not nearly enough is done for the justice of the disabled! Not someone who was incapable of viewing us as full, complete human beings.

You were complicit in that, you absolute weasel fucker. #HellMother
Helping the disabled isn't glossy enough for her. There isn't enough glory in it. She doesn't really care about justice; she cares about looking like she cares.

Don't ever, ever take jobs to help disabled people when you don't actually care about helping. #HellMother
If you're not ready to have children, take steps to not freakin' have children. This melodrama about her discovering she's pregnant...I just don't care. Don't have unprotected sex if you don't want kids. #HellMother
The chapter ends with her all "I won't give up everything for my child" instead of seriously considering if perhaps she should just wait to have children.

And I have reached the point where I can't take anymore for the day. Time to take care of myself for a bit. #HellMother
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