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Shefali Vaidya @ShefVaidya
, 8 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
#ReadTheThread It was morning. The phone alarm rang. The born-brahmin 'anti-caste' SJW feminist woke up. 'This damn brahminical racist I-phone', she screeched, 'it keeps ringing and it has a white cover'. She considered switching black to the black Dalit landline briefly.
Yawning, she walked to the toilet with bleary eyes, head hurting from last night's excess of Desi tharra. She had stopped drinking wine and vodka coz they were 'racist brahminical' drinks while desi tharra was the only original mulnivasi drink, that's what the man selling it said
She didn't use toothpaste anymore. it was white and brahminical and reminded her of her tyrannical brahminical mother who forced her to brush her teeth and maintain dental hygiene as a child. Bad breath was more egalitarian and Mulniwasi.
She took one look at the gleaming western toilet pot, that was cleaned so painstakingly by the Dalit Maid yesterday. She hated the gleaming whiteness, the antiseptic smell of the toilet cleaner, the order and neatness of the toilet. It was all so brahminical and repressive.
The #SJW wanted to go out and defecate in the open. It was more Mulniwasi and besides, it would have taught a lesson to that tyrant @narendramodi, after all, he kept telling people to use toilets. But she lived in a city, in a nice little flat paid for by her rich daddy.
She looked at the gleaming white toilet in disgust and did her business. 'But I won't flush' she said to herself angrily. Flushing and keeping one's surroundings clean was such a horrible, patriarchal, racist thing to do. By keeping things clean, pleople were being oppressive.
The #SJW hurriedly put on some clothes. Bathing was out of question. It reminded her of the Brahminical tyranny of her childhood. Body odour was good. Body odour did not discriminate. It repelled everyone, regardless of their caste.
The #SJW sat down at her laptop and began to type her latest masterpiece, 'how drinking chai reminds me of the Brahminical tyranny of my childhood'. A new star was born!!
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