Why does a girl saying no turn into embarrassment for a boy? Maybe we should unpack that bit of conditioning.
Boys have a right to ask and girls have a right to say no. Considering that a deep humiliation seems silly to me, and encourages guys to dig in rather than shrug it off.
A girl saying no doesn't mean another girl won't say yes. That's not how girls work. It just means she, individually, doesn't want to go out with you.
And if you say "cool" and remain friendly with her and don't get all in your (nonexistent) feelings about it, then other girls are less likely to avoid you.
Being attracted to someone doesn't mean they will be attracted to you. Humans don't work that way. Even if you're persistent. Even if you are demanding. Even if you are logically the better choice.
I'm saying this as the mother of a son. This conditioning is so prevalent. All of the tropes are about how the nice guy never gets the girl unless he's persistent. Not taking no for an answer isn't nice.
IF YOU'RE PESTERING GIRLS FOR DATES AFTER SHE SAID NO THANKS YOU ARE NOT A NICE GUY.
Incidentally the conditioning doesn't usually teach this, but girls can ask and boys can say no too. And this happens too but usually with different language.
But girls tend to be *hurt* rather than *embarrassed.* Boys who are traditionally trained aren't allowed to express or feel hurt.
And that might be the first step in fixing toxic masculinity. Accepting that hurt is a normal (if awful) human emotional experience.
Unrequited love hurts. Everyone experiences it if they feel love. It's not something you can avoid by replacing it with anger.
