This is my son, Sam. He’s 5. And today he learned how shitty and harmful #ToxicMasculinity is. My rage meter is spiking right now so excuse me if this is a little raw but there are some things I want to say about BS #gender norms (a thread)
Sam is my middle child & he’s a terror. A “boy’s boy” as so many (not me) would say. He’s rough and tumble, he’s loud, he’s always dirty, loves trucks, plays sports and knee drops me from the couch. But he also loves a lot of “girl” things.
Sam has a collection of purses because he likes to carry things around. And he also loves to have his nails painted bright colors because he thinks they “look beautiful.” And he’s right – they are beautiful…
You voted for those people, America. They represent you.
-The majority of white American women voters vote GOP —> Grassley and the all-male Senators on the Senate Judiciary Committee.
-There has never been a woman GOP Senator on that committee. It is 2018. #KavanaughHearings
It is 2018. These are the GOP Senators on the Judiciary Committee.
- Old white men - average is 62, Grassley is 85.
- A majority of white American women voters vote GOP. They are footsoldiers of the white supremacist patriarchy that hurts us all. #KavanaughHearings
It is 2018.
- Regardless of how you vote, as a white American, white supremacy works in your favour.
- But if you’re a white woman, patriarchy does not.
I urge all white American women to remember that and to fight it by fighting gendered racism. #KavanaughHearings
Fellow men, I want to share with you a truth. If you express non-platonic interest in a woman and she rejects that interest, it will hurt. Here's what a man does next: he lets that go and moves on. #ToxicMasculinity 1/?
It's okay to recognize to yourself that being rejected stings. Feel your feelings. We're allowed to do that. Being hurt, however, does not last. Being hurt grants you no right of revenge. A boy throws a tantrum. A man lets it go and moves on. #ToxicMasculinity 2/?
We are failing on so many levels by not teaching boys how to be men, to offer our feelings honestly and to accept rejection gracefully. A man accepts rejection as a thing that happens, because we respect those to whom we offer our feelings. #ToxicMasculinity 3/?
As @polotek points out succinctly, sexism and misogyny is what men do to women. Toxic masculinity is what men do to each other. AND women can enforce, perpetuate, encourage and uphold toxic masculinity in many ways.
For all the dudes who showed up to the #ToxicMasculinity thread asking about #toxicfemininity, well I stand by my point that it’s not a term, but it’s only not a term because it hasn’t been properly defined and researched.
Recently, @michaelianblack tweeted + wrote in @nytimes about “suffocating, outdated” systems of masculinity helping drive the epidemic of mass school shootings. As folks who explore #toxicmasculinity in school quite a bit we thought we might expand on this topic further. [1/11]
From ’95-’15 there were 31 mass school shootings. Each shooter was male & all experienced challenges to their performance of masculinity, through homophobia & other forms of gender policing. The response? To prove their tormentors wrong & assert control (Farr, 2017). [2/11]
We know that homophobia, sexism, & gender policing are still prevalent in schools, though individual acts of bullying are somewhat on the decline. Unfortunately, overall, educators’ intervention in these incidents is also on the decline... [3/11]