Thread by @CharlotteOU812

A THREAD
Nice Story Dude.....
An investigation into the psychological disorder of a Time Waster.

( Dr Charlotte is IN)

A Time Waster, (TW for short) in case you didn’t know is a person who wastes the valuable time of a sexworker making false enquiries or making false bookings with zero intention of following through.

All sales jobs have tyre kickers, people who make enquiries about your product but for one reason or another, never purchase
That’s just part and parcel of sales
But a TW in sex work is something quite different

They are not a tyre kicker.
They are a species all to their own.

A quick note:

Please don’t pipe up with all your examples of Time Wasting in other industries. That doesn’t help. It dilutes the message. Whether you realise it or not by comparing Time Wasting in sex work it to other industries you are “normalising” it.

And when we normalise an abnormal behaviour we are one step away from condoning it.
So STOP. Start listening. Don’t make excuses for this. I’m about to describe inexcusable behaviour. Behaviour that impacts sex workers seriously.

Don’t pipe up with your experience in your muggle job, don’t say well that’s how people behave, that’s just the way it is

Because people are capable of learning and society is capable of growing. Stop making allowances for inexcusable behaviour and demand that people do better

Now, ask any sex worker on this planet and they will tell you that up to 60-70% of all initial enquiries are Time Wasters.

That means there are hundreds, possibly thousands of TW calls a year for each sex worker. I’d say personally I receive upwards of 500 false enquiries a year

A client once told me a story;

When he was young his job was to ride around with a driver all day unloading heavy white goods.

He said from the very first day of his job, as they drove from delivery to delivery, the driver would make calls to sex workers making appointments that he had no intention of keeping.

Imagine the chutzpah to make appointments with sex workers in front of another fellow, and with a wink and a smile confirm with him, you have no intention of turning up?

My client said he grew increasingly uncomfortable as the months went on.
It seemed this driver was almost pathological in his need to make constant appointments with sex workers he was never going to keep.

The driver would make up to 30 appointments a day on his mobile phone and would call sex workers all over the country to do this.
Eventually my client got a new job and never saw the driver again.

For the past few weeks I’ve wrestled with how to explain to laymen the impact of TWs on sex workers. There’s just nothing in any other industry like it.

In the past I’ve tried to explain how sex workers wear a mask, a character or a personae, mostly to protect our anonymity but also to provide your fantasy. It’s exhausting sometimes pretending to be someone else.
Like any actor.

So when we answer enquiries it’s not like in other jobs where you are answering customer enquiries at a front desk, trying to be corporate but still be you. Most of the time when muggles go to work, they go as themselves.

Sex Workers are strong as steel, and as vulnerable as butter at all times at work. It’s part of our allure, but when we exhaust all that performance on a fake enquiry, when we put it all out there for something that was just crap...it saps the magic, little piece by little piece.

When I head to another city for a tour, I’ll get 17 TWs before I’ve seen my first client. You can guarantee I’m not at my best that first appointment. How could I be?

Time Wasting EXHAUSTS sex workers unlike any other industry. It steals the magic.

IT STEALS THE MAGIC!

If you are a client you should be angry about this. Because these TWs aren’t robbing us.

They are robbing you.

They are robbing you of magical experiences of mutual vulnerability because the TW has already shattered your worker and steeled them against the onslaught of lies and fake offers. The worker becomes cynical of all enquiries. The TW now makes it harder for legitimate clients.

I’d like to list examples of TW techniques so you can better understand what sex workers encounter every day. And why this process is so exhausting. But unfortunately TWs are on Twitter too...and it would probably give them ideas. So I’ll just have to make some broad strokes.

Some TWs like to send you long essay like emails where they describe complex scenarios in great detail. Chatting with SW friends you find out they all received the email too. Whether you chose to reply or not. It never eventuates into a booking.

Some TWs send you short texts enquiring after your availability and then never reply. It’s only after the same number texts you 35 times over 2 years that you realise the sender, never ever replies.

Some TWs are women pretending to be men.
Yes time wasters are women too.

One famous TW sends emails and texts with photos and asks “Do you like me?”
She sends you photos of outfits she wants to wear for you. She calls using an international number and claims she’s just flown into town. Could you meet her tonight?

She can string you along for hours...she’s shy, she’s never been with a woman before but it’s such a fantasy.
Can you help her?
But all along, you guessed it, it’s a man, and he won’t pay a deposit or show up to the booking.
Because in actual fact he’s in the UK.

This guy is FAMOUS, it’s unlikely that there is even one sex worker in Australia that he hasn’t contacted.

Imagine the time it must take to contact so many sex workers like that?

Imagine having the time and energy to call so many workers that you only have to say his first name for every worker in the country to scream...

‘Oh my god, that guy!’

Does that seem like a normal person to you? Because I have to tell you, if I knew a friend was doing that, I’d drive him to the psych hospital immediately .

Or what about the guy who texts and emails straight male sex workers pretending to be a woman?

You name a twisted, elaborate lie...there’s a TW who does it.

The sheer energy and effort that goes into time wasting can be extrordinary. Hours and hours spent contacting sex workers, describing scenarios, pretending to want to make a booking.

Time Wasters contact you through Facebook, they contact you through Twitter, they contact your private page on Tinder.

You name a form of communication, a Time Waster has used it to contact a sex worker on.

If you were sex worker living in a remote jungle with no modern communication, I guarantee Time Wasters would use jungle drums to reach you and waste your time.

I GUARANTEE IT

What do TWs get out of the experience? I don’t think many of them are masturbating while they do it. Some. But not the majority. There’s something else at play here.

Many sex workers insist now on only email enquiries or text message. They feel it best weeds out time wasters for them. Others insist on phone calls only for the very same reason.

I mean we have to do something under the deluge, under the constant HARRASMENT

And because of the rampant time wasting, deposits which have now become worldwide, will eventually become an industry standard.
In the not too distant future it will be impossible for anyone to get an appointment without one.

TWs cost SWs money. I don’t want to go into too many details, I don’t want TWs to get any satisfaction from this tweet. Just take it at face value and we will move on.

I’m fascinated by Time Wasters.
Completely fascinated by someone who spends hours and hours, lying to people they don’t even know.
Hours spent making plans that never eventuate, hours spent deliberately and falsely representing themselves.
To what benefit?

Why do they do it?
Is it the fun of anticipating what would happen in the booking?
Is it the thrill of knowing the worker is getting ready to see them and they won’t show?
Is it just fun because they thinks the worker is stupid and enjoys wasting their time?

There are so many theories, and yet none of them have ever rung true for me.

There is something that lies beneath this act. There is something sinister about Time Wasting. There is something deeply entitled about it. There is something there that is slightly psychopathic.

Time Wasting is abnormal behaviour. It’s abnormal. And it’s chronic. I’ve encountered thousands of TWs in the past 6 years.
Don’t you think that’s really odd?

That thousands of people felt entitled to waste my time. My energy, my focus....for an unspecified reason?

The problem with really understanding a TW, is that none of them will tell you why they do it.
And don’t think I haven’t asked.
I have.

When I twig someone’s a TW I always ask them why they do it.
No one has ever given me an answer. Not one. Ever.

They just go silent...

Because they don’t understand it themselves. They can’t articulate what drives them to do this, over and over again. Our society doesn’t acknowledge their existence. No one calls them out on this anti social behaviour and so they continue, unabated, unquestioned.
And addicted.

You know a TW, I guarantee it. They are like an invisible force within your ranks. But they rarely admit it. Why? Because they know, on some level of their immature and distorted mind that what they are doing is wrong.
But they don’t stop.

After you’ve been working for while, usually 6 months the amount of TW enquiries diminishes.
It never ends but it does get less. Why?

Because TWs save the numbers of sex workers who call them out. They stop contacting those sex workers who don’t give them satisfaction.

So the joy for TWs is not just bothering or annoying sex workers, nor is it just communicating with workers or imagining and sharing scenarios.
No, it’s something more.
It’s about the game.

It’s about having a sex worker believe you are making a legitimate appointment. For a TW to gain satisfaction they must believe that they fooled you. That you believed the lie.

Time Wasting evolves too. Can you believe it?

It evolves. Because as sex workers invent ways to combat it, TWs find ways to circumnavigate those solutions.
Time Wasters actively seek new ways to waste our time.

They actively seek out NEW ways to waste time.

Time Wasting is like trolling, it’s relatively anonymous. TWs can bother thousands of sex workers a year with useless time wasting antics and no one is ever the wiser.

A normal person would struggle to understand the motivations for time wasting. It seems so stupid, right?

Do you think time wasters think they are stupid?

No, TW’s think they are VERY clever. Because a TW doesn’t want an appointment, it’s very likely they’ve never even seen a sex worker. At all...ever.

What a Time Waster seeks...is control.

Successful people aren’t Time Wasters.
People who have good jobs and happy family lives aren’t Time Wasters.
In case you haven’t noticed I’m rather an astute observer of human behaviour. I’ve been paying attention for a long time and I’ve got the number.

Time Wasters are weak, ineffectual people in real life. Time Wasters can be sly and clever, but they are never intelligent and they are most certainly never self aware.
Time Wasters work menial and or repetitive jobs and have disappointing personal lives.

TWs seek and find those whom they consider the easiest target in society.
Sex workers.
They search them out, target them and attempt to lure and control them. And when they succeed, they feel a rush of personal power, they finally feel successful.
And so they do it again.

Like any crime against the weak; rape, domestic abuse, harassment, gaslighting and so on. It’s about control.

And control is addictive and takes on many forms. Time Wasters seek control over others and this is the best they can do, in a pathetic tiny life.

So how can workers combat time wasting? (Experienced workers know this)

Remind yourself this TW is weak, they want control.
Don’t give it. Don’t let them see you disappointed or angry. That’s what they want.
Just cut them off. Don’t text or write back.
Just shut them down.

And clients? What about you?
Understand providers deal with Time Wasters constantly, so follow the individual guidelines to contacting us.

Those guidelines are there to weed out TWs. Follow them. Provide whatever information the worker asks for without delay.

Pay a deposit. In fact pay the entire amount in advance if the sW’s still wary of you. Do whatever it takes to show your provider you mean business.

And don’t resent it. We aren’t punishing you. We are protecting ourselves, our business and ultimately our performance for you.

As long as people feel weak, entitled and angry there will be Time Wasters. And as long as society sees sex workers as the lowest of our society, Time Wasters will continue to target us.

It sucks, but now that I understand it, I’m finding it a little easier to deal with

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