Thread by @CharlotteOU812

Sex workers, stigma and mental health.
A thread

Dedicated to my darling friend. (You know who you are)
😍😍😍😍😍

Last week a dear friend and I were chatting.

We both revealed to each other a very big thing.
We are both struggling with depression.
I can’t speak for my awesome friend’s symptoms, but mine involves panic attacks.
Attacks so great...I fear I am dying. ☠️💀☠️💀

I wake in the middle of the night convinced I’m suffering an embolism. That I have mere minutes to live and all the things I’ve hoped to achieve will be gone. I’ll be dead, lost in obscurity. Never to be remembered, never having achieved anything. All my dreams lost.

Eventually when death refuses to arrive (because he’s busy with actual dying people and not interested in a booty call with neurotic me) I talk myself off the ledge.

Until the next panic attack a few nights later.
And it all starts all over again.

So my buddy and I made a pact. We would each get help. No more staring at the walls, unable to move Unable to act. We would get up, get organised. See a doctor and go on meds if need be. We would take this depression by the horns and deal with it. Big girl panties on, so to speak

But as any sex worker can tell you.
That’s a lot easier said than done.
Because when you try to find a health professional who can professionally deal with a person who does sex work, you’re going to be searching for awhile. 🕰

Every person reading this at some point will have mental health issues. Whether it be the blues, post partum depression or full blown mania, it can happen to anyone.
And mental health help is deeply problematic and woefully inept. As well as being underfunded and under researched

But what makes it a million times harder for sex workers to get adequate, useful mental health help is...you guessed it.
STIGMA

Watch a health care providers face when you tell them you’re a sex worker. (Extra points if they are drawing blood at that exact time)

It’s a standard belief and likely a correct one that to get the best out of therapy we should be honest with our therapist. How can we share our problems if we don’t share truthfully?
And discussing the stress of any work should be a given in seeking therapy. Work (All) = Stress

I actually have a therapist already.
I have ADHD and I see an adult ADHD specialist. He’s a psychiatrist and there aren’t many good ones in his field. The problems adults face with ADHD are unique and require ongoing support.
But I only see him for ADHD related stuff.

If I need therapy and counselling for depression, I won’t see him.
Why?
Because he’s a whorephobic SOB.

That’s why.

Whenever I visit a health provider for the first time I put out feelers. Testing the waters so to speak. A reconnaissance mission to seek and find tolerance.👀

It took my ADHD therapist at our first meeting all of 10 minutes before telling me the story of a past client who was a cam model but “dealing with her low self esteem issues got her out of those appalling choices”
See...indiscreet AND whorephobic.
How could I trust him?

Whether it’s a GP, nurse or specialist. I’ll never reveal my sex worker status until I’m sure I can trust they have integrity and that they are open to sex work as a legitimate profession.
And almost always I find out that they are not.
Really not.
Really, REALLY not.

See the problem with sex work and mental health help is that invariably when a therapist or counsellor finds out you are a sex worker and fighting depression, their first suggestion is that you leave sex work. They immediately assume that all your problems are due to sex work.

And that when you leave sex work all your mental health problems will magically disappear. 🧞‍♂️
Which of course is not true.
Sex workers are no more prone to depression and anxiety than anybody else.
Nor do we suffer problems of drug and alcohol addiction more than anyone else.

That’s all stereotypes.
And medical professionals should be above stereotypes and stigma.
They should be better educated about sex work.
But they are not.
And it’s not their fault.
The truth is medical academics are not supported to study sex work.

Since the slow of the AIDS epidemic there is not the money nor the support to study much related to sex work. Certainly not how to support those who choose sex work voluntarily.
The current political climate of right wing reversion means its the dark ages for sex worker care.

But the truth is, for many people who suffer depression, anxiety and other issues is that sex work is a great job.
It means you can pay your bills by only working a few hours a week and avoid many anxiety creating situations like commuting, bullying and office politics.

Sex work is not a perfect job.
There are NO perfect jobs. But it’s not the cause of my current depression. Sadly I can’t trust a medical professional to see that because they are uneducated about sex work.
It takes a therapist who is not only good, but woke to treat sex workers

Blaming my job would be an easy out. One many would like to take.
They carry stigma against sex work from the way they were raised and their place in society, into treating a patient.
They will instantly assume I suffer depression because of my “demeaning” job.

Lots of jobs are demeaning. But mine is the only one that faces such instant stigma.
It’s hard for sex workers to admit when they are struggling, even more so publicly.

No doubt in a short period of time there will be some thread on Punter Planet ‘Charlotte Swan Depressed!’

And I guess some clients won’t want to book me now if they think that I’m sad. But depression isn’t actually like that, and more often than not you don’t know someone is depressed unless they admit it, because when you see them they act just the same as always

In fact, if you are my client or you have been thinking about booking me, then please do. I actually need to work, (quite badly actually) and I’d be grateful for your patronage. Especially now that I have to pay 2 therapists! 😍

Sex workers are just the same as everyone else. We are not a seperate species. We make a brave choice in our job, and society fails to acknowledge how special we are. Instead it wants to infantise us and discredit us. And that’s societies fault, not ours.

We need better education for health professionals to support sex workers. And one day we will have it.
In the mean time I’m interviewing therapists, asking just the right questions to gauge who they are and who I can have faith in.
Wish me luck
#startlisteningtosexworkers

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