Thread by @aeryn_thrace

Thread on children's rights and personhood.

The kid had a dentist appt today. Turns out he's terrified of dentists: his first visit was with someone who was impatient and lost his temper. The dentist was also a big man. The kid is only about 118cm & 20kg. He's very little. 1/11

We obviously changed dentist but have struggled. We finally decided that the best thing was to put him under. It was not an easy decision to take. We know some things about the effects of narcotics on children's brains, but not much, etc. 2/11

Today was the big day & we did everything we could to prepare for it, explaining that all that was going to happen was that he was going to get a gas mark, & then go to sleep, we would be there the whole time, nothing to worry about. We got there at 10:am for an 11:am appt. 3/11

1st mistake: the kid was not seen until 12. An hour for a kid is an eternity, especially about something he's anxious about.

2nd mistake: The anesthesiologist was running late & just wanted to get things done. Didn't let the kid ease into things but tried to rush through. 4/11

For better or worse, the kid is highly intelligent. Any parent of a similar kid will know exactly to what degree it's both a blessing a curse. He asks questions about everything and expects answers. His sense of safety comes from knowing what's going on. 5/11

3rd mistake: Md does not try to answer questions, showing his impatience and frustration, which the kid immediately picks up on.

4th mistake: The MD and the nurse try to forcibly place the gas mask on the kid's face and hold him down. 6/11

Just imagine this for a second: you are 118cm tall, 20kg, on your back with two adults holding you down trying to force something on your face.

As the kid's mom, I'm watching this, and immediately intervene, pushing both people off of my kid. 7/11

The MD starts arguing with me about having limited time and how I'm putting my kid's life at risk. I argue back that he does not have the right to man-handle my child. That he is a person asking questions, and needs to be treated with respect. 8/11

I do my best to calm my kid down and get as far as getting him to play with the gas mask, but when the MD tried to switch the gas from oxygen to the narcotic, the kid notices, freaks out and that's the end of that. 9/11

As we're leaving, the MD tries to give me a lecture about how children should not be treated like adults, that answering their questions & giving them too much information is a mistake. I fire back that the questions were not the problem but that he held my kid down! 10/11

Can we even begin to count all the ways what happened is completely wrong? My kid may be a child, but he is still a person w full autonomy over his body. If we don't teach kids to respect bodily autonomy by example, how the hell are they going to understand as adult men? (11/11)