Thread by @erinscafe

weird how with ladies it’s always the tone that’s the real problem

fun fact: this is called tone policing

it’s a way of taking back control of a conversation that makes you uncomfortable by focusing on the emotions instead of the issue

when you tell someone they need to calm down, or that they’d get more respect if they’d just stop using vulgar language, you’re giving yourself permission to dismiss their complaints

“hey maybe she has a valid point, but who can tell when she’s so shrill and hysterical”

tone policing suggests that nobody can have a rational, useful conversation unless we leave emotions at the door and use only words that won’t offend anyone

as if emotions aren’t an essential part of the issues we need to discuss

as if progress only comes from civility

stop telling people how to talk, and actually think about what they’re saying

if their tone is making you uncomfortable, take a seat

maybe this isn’t a conversation you’re ready for, but you sure as hell don’t get to dictate how they have it with anyone else

and if you’re a man, cut that shit out we’re over it